Update

As the new year began, I realized that I needed to make some changes. In my desire to build my work as a writer, I had started raising support through Patreon, built my own website, and tried to upkeep this blog, while still trying to actually write and advance the different projects I had in the works. It was too much.

The first decision I made was to close down my Patreon account. Instead, I am accepting monthly support on my website, which lets me focus on maintaining my website without also having to maintain a Patron newsfeed. If you are interested in learning more about what that looks like, you can check it out here: leanewinger.com/support

You also may have noticed that I haven't been posting as frequently here on my blog. Since my website also has a blog, I will primarily be focusing on sharing my writing through that platform. I invite you to check it out, and subscribe to my website newsletter if you don't want to miss out on what I've been sharing there. I will still be posting occasionally on this blog, but it will primarily be things of a more personal nature (pictures, family updates) and topics that are not related to my writing (arts and crafts, other things I'm up to). 

Thanks for your understanding, and I hope to see you again soon, here and on my website!

A Few Pictures

Forest river

Exploring a cave

Time with Grandpa

River trail

Sunshine

Painting and musical editing

Visiting Uncle Steve

Looking at starfish

Toes in the sand

The castle crew begins

Little helper

Running free

Windy day

Driftwood

The sandcastle

Adventures with friends

Exploring

Smiles

A friendly visitor

Friends

If we treated every moment as if it was worth capturing in a picture, maybe we would appreciate every moment a little more...

Another Day, Another Year

Hey Everyone!

It's been a few months since I've shared how I'm doing, so I figured it's about time! Overall, I am doing significantly better than I was back in October. Through both prayer and the passage of time, I have seen healing and growth. Physically, much of my strength has returned. I am able to get through my day without having to lie down, and I can take the boys to the park. I haven't tried hiking yet, but I am able to walk 5 kilometres, which is encouraging.

Although my physical health is improving, my emotional health is taking longer to recover. I am easily overstimulated and overwhelmed. I struggle to cope when I'm around large crowds, or conflict, or people who are expressing strong emotions. Although I have enough energy now to go out and do things, I often end up spending my time alone or just with my family. During this time, my projects have become a source of comfort and safety for me. Whenever I have free time, you can usually find me at the piano or on my laptop.

A side effect of this focus is that I have managed to finish all of the songs for my musical, as well as my latest edit of the script! The script has been sent off to a few more people for feedback, and I am starting on my newest project: a novel about mountaineers, a mysterious door beneath a glacier, and a daring rescue mission!

A lot of people have been asking me if I ever got a diagnosis. No, I didn't. As I saw my health slowly improving, I got tired of blood tests and doctor's appointments, and gave up pursuing an answer. But looking back on the circumstances surrounding my "crash", I am pretty sure that what I experienced was a burnout. It has been a long six months since then, and it will be longer yet until I am back to "normal", but I am thankful for a loving, understanding husband who has been helping me through it, and my supportive friends and family who have been praying for me and that I can reach out to when I need help.

Hopefully I'll start writing on my blog a bit more now. I've missed sharing my life with you.

A Tiring Reality

Sometimes life gets harder.

About a month ago, I suddenly got quite sick—headache, chills, fever, shakiness, etc. Most of the symptoms passed after a couple days, except for the tiredness. And I was very tired—at first I could hardly be up for an hour before I had to lie down again. I've been slowly improving, but even now I have to lie down a couple times each day, and I don't really have the energy to take the kids to the park or go shopping.

As you can imagine, this has made life a lot more challenging. Running around after two very active, independent little ones is not exactly compatible with resting and recovering. Even the ordinary tasks of caring for a household can tire me out and leave me without the energy to play music or write or do other things that I enjoy.

It's hard, and frustrating, and discouraging.

The doctor thinks it was just the flu, aggravated by the heat, dehydration, and all the smoke that was in the air at the time. I'm taking some supplements, and trying to eat more and drink more water. I am improving. But it is so easy to do too much and have another setback.

And part of my frustration is that "there is nothing wrong with me" and "I don't look sick". From an outside perspective, nothing seems any different. But the kids are fussier, because they don't understand why mommy can't run around and play like she usually can. It's been way too long since I've been able to take the kids to the park, and we are all going a little crazy because of it. Every time I try to do something that takes extra energy—going to church, getting groceries, even having a games night with some friends—I feel significantly worse afterward. I've been out of the house so little that I'm starting to get cabin fever!

And I'm really lonely.

Hopefully this will be the last you hear of this, and I'll be feeling better soon, but I wanted to give you a little picture of what life has been like for me lately. I'm so thankful that Jesse and the rest of the household have been so willing to help out more around the house so I can lie down when I need to!

Despite the rough past month, it has been a pretty good summer. Here are a few pictures of what we have been up to:

Garden love

Keeping cool

Picnic time!

Family hiking

Fire Creek

All rocks must be climbed!

Coastline near Bella Coola

Humble beauty

My munchkins

'Tis the last rose of summer...

Unposted Facebook Statuses

I don't post on Facebook very often. Part of the reason is that when something comes to mind that I want to post, I over-think it way too much, resulting in it never being posted at all. I also struggle with posting on social media when I know my reason for posting is just trying to get attention. But since I have a growing stockpile of unused Facebook statuses, I decided to use them here as a kind of family update.

The only sad thing is that now I can't get "likes"...

I guess I'll get over it.

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Whenever I visit a commercial plant nursery, I just want to buy all the plants so I can free them from their jail and give them a happy home.
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"Can I be Morwen from the Enchanted Forest Chronicles when I grow up?" - me
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You know it's going to be a good day when...

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Reason #32 why I love living in community: you get to enjoy unexpected treasures like this.

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Dairy-free brownie trifle, because Char and I are epic like that.

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Love this kid so much <3

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Pretty :)

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This kid is taking such good care of his horsey... can we just get him a pet already?? (By the way, we're currently taking donations for the "Leane and Jesse move to a farm so their kids can have dogs and horses" fund!)

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"I like it. It makes our house look like an apothecary." - Evan

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Nothing much going on around here. Just cleaning our swords.

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Toddlers have never-ending ingenuity, especially when chocolate is involved...

The Girl From Moab

You may have noticed that I haven't been posting on my blog as much as I used to. There are many things that have been keeping me from writing as much as I'd like, but one of the more exciting reasons is that I have been putting a lot of time into the revisions of my original musical, The Girl From Moab!

This musical was originally written six years ago as a summer project with a co-worker of mine. The original musical was just over an hour long and was very well received by the local audience that came to see it performed. Since then, it has been a dream of mine to expand it into a full-length musical, and that is finally happening!! I have spent the past seven months re-writing the book, and now I am moving onto the music. Many of the original songs are being adapted and re-written, and there are over ten new songs being added!

I'd love for all of you to be just as excited about it as I am, so I am going to be posting updates ever now and then on how the revisions are going. Maybe I will even give you little sneak peaks and inside information about the script!

My next task, complete the score: 1 song down, 22 to go!

A Long Overdue Update and 300 Posts!

I realize that it has been a very long time since I posted a good old-fashioned family update, so I figured that it is about time! Also, I just wanted to note that this is my 300th post on this blog! That's a lot of writing! Sometimes it feels like it's just me here, hitting keys and staring at a screen, but the stats say that I've had over 300 page views this past month—and that's been without promoting my blog on social media! So thank you so much to each one of you who keeps coming back to read what I have to say. Thank you to those who have left comments or responded to me privately. Your encouragement means so much to me.

So—family update time! My little boys are quickly growing up to be not so little. They are both forces to be reckoned with and possess (seemingly) endless energy. They are starting to play together now—and starting to get in trouble together! There is never a dull moment around here!

Steven is endlessly resourceful and loves making up new "games" to play. He has no hesitations about going for what he wants, whether through negotiation or pure initiative—he has been known to climb up to get the juice out of the fridge, climb up to get cups out of the cupboard, and pour juice for himself and his brother, and then put everything away again, while I am only out of the room for a couple of minutes! He climbs absolutely everything, loves reading books, and is a big fan of "Veggie Rock", specifically the Hairbrush Song.

Kenneth is constantly trying to keep up to his big brother—and he does a very good job of it! He is very funny, and has become quite the chatterbox, with a word for almost everything (even if we can't always understand what the word is)! He loves animals, music, and dancing, and whenever there is some great dance music being played, he will run up to whoever is in the house saying, "Come! Come!" until everyone joins in the dance.

For Jesse and I, it seems like life is mostly work and taking care of our family, but one recent thing of note is that we recently finished our longest-running D&D campaign with some close friends of ours that spanned from South Korea to British Columbia to Vermont.

As a family, we are in a significant time of transition right now, as we figure out our living situation, Jesse's work, and make decisions about the future. It can be hard to balance the mundane of the day-to-day with the bigger questions of where we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to be doing, but I'm glad that the conversation has been started, and we'll see where we end up!

Summer 2017

The kids have been keeping me busy this summer. Kenneth learned to walk and climb! If I turn my back on him for a minute I'll find him up on the couch or on his brother's bed. Kenneth's new found independence means that the kids have been playing together (and fighting!) a lot more. Steven runs through life at full speed and full enthusiasm. He has lots to say, and loves singing and reading stories. He has started to play pretend with his stuffed animals, which is so cute. We didn't get away from home much this summer, but we've had lots of visitors from out of town, and we were able to go for a family hike up Needle Peak and do some canyoneering down Fire Creek (without the kids). Here are a few pictures from our summer:

Keeping cool in the summer heat

Checking out the solar eclipse

Holding the eclipse in our hands

Posing for a photo

Exploring Fire Creek

Chillin' in a waterfall

Steven leading the way up Needle Peak

Lunch break!

At the summit