An Ordinary Nail

October 31, 1517. The day that is known as the day on which Martin Luther nailed his ninety-five theses to the door of the Wittenberg Cathedral.

I imagine he used an ordinary nail.

This wasn't the first time he'd had a problem with something going on in the church of that time, and this wasn't the first time he had written about it. He had no idea that this time the effect of his words would be felt across the world, and that his action would be remembered and celebrated five hundred years later.

Interestingly, Luther wasn't intending to break away from the church. He was simply making a critique and calling for a change. But his document caused such a stir that the powers of the time told him that he needed to recant his words, or else. In the end he broke away from the Cathodic Church, and his actions are often proclaimed as the start of the Protestant Reformation.

Luther's actions and words clearly made a significant impact on history, but he was not the first one to make those critiques of the Catholic Church. The way was already paved by others. The Protestant Reformation, though so often attributed to Luther's initiative, was actually the result of countless choices and countless actions by countless people. Did any one of those people know the significance of their actions?

For example, roughly eighty years before Luther's ninety-five theses, Johannes Gutenberg invented the printing press. This played a huge role in setting the stage for the Reformation to happen. The Bible, which before had to be copied by hand, suddenly became accessible to more than just the very rich. And as soon as the Bible was translated into the language of the people, instead of only being in Latin, that too became accessible in a way that would have been impossible before. The printing press also made it possible to distribute other written works further and quicker than ever before - works such as Luther's ninety-five theses.

There are countless others who contributed to the Protestant movement, both before and after Luther. Some helped, some hindered. They often disagreed with each other. There were acts of great faith and heroism, and despicable acts that we cringe to have associated with the history of our faith. The Catholics persecuted the Protestants, the Protestants persecuted the Catholics, the Protestants and the Catholics both persecuted the Anabaptists. The history of the Reformation is not necessarily bedtime story material. But it is full of ordinary people, like us, saying things and doing things.

Like the people of history, we do things and we say things. We call up a friend, say hi to someone we pass on the street, write a blog post, live our lives. We don't know the impact that it will have, seen or unseen. That's a little bit scary, because so often our actions and words are thoughtless and careless. But it is also encouraging, because if you're like me, you'd really like to change the world and make it a better place, and sometimes it seems like you have to nail the right document on the right door at the right time in order to make that difference, but that's not true. The things we do and say may not be specifically remembered years later, but the ripple of effects coming from our normal every-day lives and decisions will continue to spread and make a real difference in the world.

500 years ago, Luther used an ordinary nail, and history was never the same.

Grape Fruit Leather

I don't makes things with grapes very often, because grapes tend to be expensive. But at the moment I happen to have access to a lot of Concord grapes, so I thought it would be fun trying to make something with them.

Since I also have access to a dehydrator, I decided on making fruit leather. I haven't really made fruit leather before. In the past we have generally used our dehydrator to dry apple slices and other fruit. But drying grapes would just make raisins, so I thought I should try something a little different.

The first task when making something with Concord grapes, I have learned, is removing the seeds. How you go about doing that is by "popping" the grapes - squeezing each grape until the insides pop out of the skin. You save the skins for later and all the insides go in a pot to be cooked briefly then put through an applesauce strainer.

Once the seeds have been removed you add the skins back in, along with some sugar, and cook the mixture on the stove for a while. Once it was cooked I used a blender to puree it.

The grape puree filled two trays in the dehydrator. I used one fruit tray that came with the dehydrator and I put parchment paper over a second tray and left it to dry overnight. Interestingly, the parchment paper tray did better than the other tray!

I thought it would be fun to roll the fruit leather up in long strips with wax paper, just like fruit roll-ups from the store! Kenneth wasn't sure what to think of it, but Steven really liked the "grape chips". I consider the fruit leather to be a success. Since there are so many grapes, maybe I'll make another batch!

What To Do

One of the best things about vacations (especially the visiting-relations-who-love-taking-care-of-your-kids-for-you kind of vacations) is that they give you lots extra time to think and dream and plan. I've been doing lots of thinking and dreaming and planning lately, even before our vacation started. Perhaps it has been a way to mentally escape from the dirty diapers and laundry and tantrums, reminding myself that this is just a season. It will pass.

I've never been very good at long-term planning, which is kind of funny considering how much I like planning in general. I think it is because I've never been able to settle on what I want to do with my life. I'm not even very good at deciding what I want to pursue next.

There are a lot of things that I enjoy, and a lot of things that I want to do. For example, I'd love to go back to school. I really enjoy learning, and I'm good at academics. But even if I decided to go back to school, that just leads to more decisions. What school do I go to, and what do I study? There are many subjects I am interested in, including psychology, anthropology, education, theatre, Christian spirituality, and history.

And as much as I'd enjoy being a perpetual student, what would my goal be for further education? I'd love to get a Masters degree, but a masters in what? I'd love to be able to teach at a post secondary level, but what would I teach?

And then there's theatre. If you've known me for very long at all you know about my love of theatre and the way that it builds community and brings people together. I'd love to get the training I need to improve my skills as a director. I'd love to be a director again! It's been four years since the last time I directed a production - and there was a time in my life when I'd start getting antsy if it had been longer than a year!

And then I've really been enjoying my writing. Beyond this blog and the storytelling project that I'm a part of, I am also in the middle of revising my musical based on the story of Ruth. And as if those aren't enough, I have a plethora of other script and story ideas just waiting to be written.

But my days only have 24 hours, and my weeks only have 7 days. And for this season, most of those are claimed by the little people who call me Mommy. But in the hours and minutes that I can claim for myself, there is so much I want to do! How do I even begin to choose?

I hope that I will have the chance in my life to pursue most if not all of the different things I think about. But since the time I have right now is so limited, I want to be intentional with it. What do I pursue? Education? Theatre? Writing? Something else?

I don't know.

Quote

This week has been and is a busy, stressful one. I'm not sure if I will have the opportunity to write much, but I thought that I would share a quote with you that I really like and find encouraging. I hope you have a wonderful week, and I hope to be posting again soon!

"Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake."
     –Victor Hugo

Sorrel Pesto and the Mystery Plant

We love pesto, but it's definitely not cheap. That's why the idea of making our own pesto has always interested me. I tried making a kale and walnut pesto once, but I forgot to add salt and it didn't really turn out. But that was a long time ago, and I decided it was time to try making pesto again. Before I share the recipe I used, I first need to tell you the story of the mystery plant.

We moved into our current home in January—while there was snow on the ground—so we didn't have much of an idea of what we'd find growing in the gardens. We were told there would be tulips, and we could see a couple rose bushes and hydrangeas, but other than that we got to be surprised as things came up. As the spring and summer progressed we were able to identify most of what we found in the gardens, but one thing had us stumped: a set of three large plants that looked very much like spinach. The problem was that they came up from root balls that have clearly been there for a long time—and spinach is an annual plant, not a perennial. We made guesses and asked around and did some Google research, but nothing seemed to make sense. So I just gave up for a while. I felt sure that they must be edible because they are growing in what had clearly been a vegetable garden, but I didn't want to harvest it unless I knew what it was. The plants grew and went to seed and died back. But then once the cooler weather of fall arrived, the plants started growing again, and once again I got the motivation to find out what they are. I decided to try eating a leaf, and found that it was sour and lemony and tasty. That gave me something to work with, and after some research I came to the conclusion that it must be sorrel. It looks right and tastes right, and sorrel is a perennial plant. Mystery solved!

Now that I had three large sorrel plants, I really wanted to do something with them! I looked around for recipes and discovered that you can make sorrel pesto! I knew that I had to give it a try.

The recipe for sorrel pesto is very simple: two cups of packed sorrel leaves, half a cup of slivered almonds, two cloves of garlic, some salt and pepper, and a quarter cup olive oil. You mince the first five ingredients in a food processor and then add the oil. You can find the recipe I used here.

Apparently two cups of packed leaves is a pretty vague measurement. I think I managed to fit a lot more sorrel into my two cups than I was supposed to, because my pesto definitely needed more almonds, and oil, and everything else really. But it was easy to make the additions, and turned out beautifully!

I put the pesto in a canning jar in the fridge and we have enjoyed it for a couple different meals now. You can definitely taste that it is made from a plant, more so than pesto from a store, but it is still really good! I consider sorrel pesto to be a success!

One More Potato

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I thought that I would share something else that I am thankful for.

I am thankful for one more potato.

Let me explain.

I was preparing food for the Sunday potluck that we host every week. I had decided to make what I dubbed a "Thanksgiving shepherd's pie", basically a shepherd's pie with a layer of stuffing on top of the mashed potatoes. (It actually turned out really well! I would recommend trying it.) As I was peeling and chopping potatoes and putting them on to boil, I wondered if I had prepared enough potatoes. After some consideration, I decided I should peel one more, just in case. I reached down into the cupboard and pulled out one more potato.

One more potato. That was all. But that moment was very profound for me.

You see, most of us can reach into the cupboard and pull out another potato. It's so normal, we don't even think about it. But I invite you to consider for a moment with me just how amazing that is:

We have so much food. Even though there have been times when money was short, we've never gone hungry.

I get to choose what food I want to prepare. I have access to almost any kind of food I could want.

Food is a thing. Have you ever thought about that? Things grow that are edible, and we can use them to get the nutrients we need to live.

I have a wonderful, large kitchen that I get to use. It isn't a dark cave or very old and dirty like some of the other kitchens in places we have lived.

We have a large household, with an open door. I've always wanted it to be like that. We aren't just a family of two parents and two kids—we have opened our home to so many, and I am thankful for each of them.

One more potato—such a simple thing—but a reminder that I have so much to be thankful for.

What is something normal in your life that has reminded you to be thankful?

Thankful

Not long ago, I received an email update from a friend who is a missionary overseas. As I was reading her email, one quote seemed to jump right off the page:

"The next step after a seed is planted is not fruit; it’s roots."

This quote helped me define exactly what it is that I am thankful for this Thanksgiving—roots. I am starting to grow roots, however slowly and tentatively. It feels like it has taken such a long time to feel secure enough for roots to start taking hold. And no wonder—in the ten years since I finished high school I have lived in ten different homes, across four different cities/parts of the world. I suppose that's the life of a student, but it always seemed like I would just start making friends and then have to say goodbye; I would just get used to my classes or work and then be moving on to the next chapter. But somehow, just recently, I am actually starting to feel like I belong where I am, like I have roots.

It is easy to become frustrated by a perceived lack of "fruit", feeling like I don't have many friends, like I don't belong, like I'm just surviving. But this quote helped remind me that things take time. We can't throw our lives together in a few days or weeks. Our lives are more like a garden—grown and cultivated over many years. It's so easy to see how far I have to go, but today I'm thankful that my roots are growing.

Part of me is terrified that something will happen, that things will change again, and I will again feel the pain of those tender roots being torn out of their soil. It has happened so often over the past ten years—so often that those roots that used to stretch out eagerly have become reluctant and tentative. But still, there they are.

The place where I have noticed these roots the most lately is at church. Jesse and I have been attending the same church for four years now—ever since we got married and decided that we wanted to find a home church. Last Sunday we had a communion service and there was a time of sharing when people from the congregation could stand up and share something that was on their heart. As I looked around the congregation, I suddenly realized that I felt like I was home, that this is my church, and my family. It was quite an overwhelming moment for me, because I haven't felt like that in so long.

I am very thankful for my church. It is not perfect, of course, but I see a community of people who are learning and growing and seeking to follow in the way of Jesus. It is a place where we have a voice and where we have something to offer. Jesse and I are still trying to make friends there—it is slow going, especially when so much of the congregation has been attending for so long and already has their friends and connections. But at least now when I look around me I see faces that I know. There are many whose stories I have heard, and many whose struggles I know and care about.

Sometimes it is easier to think about how it takes so long for roots to grow. Our Thanksgiving weekend is event-less, except for playing a game of D&D online with a friend. Our family is far away, and most people are busy with their own families. We keep trying to make new friends and connect with old friends who are still in the area, but it always seems like everyone is too busy. But this Thanksgiving I want to focus on the roots that I have been growing, however slowly it may be. I am thankful to finally be home.

I Wish

I wish
I could read your mind
And know exactly what you need to hear

I wish
I could crawl into your heart
And know exactly what you are feeling

I wish
We could be friends
And sit and talk
Or just be silent
Together

I wish
I could show you
There is hope even when
The whispers are saying there isn't
That my presence could be
Like a warm embrace
Against the frost of
Isolation and despair
Because I believe
There is still
Hope

I wish
I could know if it would be
Okay for me to walk over
To you and say
Hi
But then
I wouldn't know
What to say next

I wish
I had words to say
But I hesitate
And you walk by

I wish
You could know
That I see you