Merry Christmas 2017

Merry Christmas!

Much love, Leane and family

Flying with Toddlers

Toddlers on an airplane. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. But it doesn't have to be! As of our last trip to visit family, I have now flown with:

A 7-month-old
A 17-month-old
A 23-month-old and a 3-month-old
A 2 3/4-year-old and a 13-month-old

And we are still living to tell the tale! So far I have found that flying with an infant isn't too hard, because you basically just cuddle them and nurse them and pray like crazy that take-off and landing won't hurt their ears. Toddlers, on the other hand, take a bit more preparation.

Here are seven tips for traveling with toddlers, that I have learned through our traveling experiences:

1. Bring snacks.

This is no time to mess around with mediocre snacks—the more exciting the better! Goldfish crackers. Animal crackers. Candy. Nutella dip (okay, that got a bit messy). As you may notice, most of my concern for feeding the kids healthy food goes out the window when traveling. But there are healthy snacks that are fun to eat too, like apple chips, raisins, and trail mix. Bring a wide variety, just to be safe. There's nothing like a snack to save the day when things are getting rough.

2. Bring toys.

Bring some old favourites and some new toys. I've heard of people bringing a new toy for each hour of travel, but I haven't been that organized. Try to bring a wide variety of options—toddlers are fickle creatures, and you can't always predict what will be a success and what will not. Puzzles and stickers are some of Steven's favourites at the moment. I have a necklace of teething beads that kept Kenneth happy for quite a while. We've also tried books, colouring, toy cars... basically anything the kids generally seem to enjoy that doesn't involve making a gigantic mess (which unfortunately disqualifies a lot of what they enjoy playing with).

3. Plan activities.

You can have more up your sleeve than just pulling out another snack or another toy. The airplane itself can provide some interesting things to do. For example, our boys love turning on and off the little overhead lights and air vents. Unfortunately, they also enjoy turning on the "help requested" button, which gets a little problematic. Exploring up and down the aisle is fun, and a good way to get out some of that endless toddler energy. Our boys enjoy making friends with the other passengers and the flight attendants, which sometimes results in them being given candy!

For those times when you have to stay in your seats, "reading" the flight safety card stored in each seat pocket can be fun. You can also make a puppet out of the barf bag. Another option is singing songs that have actions. I lost count of how many times we sang "running over" to keep Kenneth happy on the last leg of our most recent journey. And in case all else fails, have some kid-friendly apps downloaded on your phone. Sometimes that's all that will work.

Something I am going to do next time is write down a list of each snack and toy and whatever activities I've thought of. In the moment it is really easy to forget about some of them!

4. Pajamas.

Comfortable, and encourages napping. However—

5. Don't count on them napping.

By all means, try to get them to nap, but have enough snacks/toys/activities to last the entire trip, just in case they don't.

6. Don't pack your bag too full.

If it is overflowing with snacks and toys it becomes really hard to find the one that you are looking for. Trust me, I've tried.

7. Don't take things too seriously.

I think this is the most important thing of all. Traveling can be stressful at the best of times, but take a deep breath and try to have fun. There will be messes. There will be tears and tantrums (though hopefully not too many). But this is also a great chance to spend time with your kids, without the endless distractions of dishes and laundry and the countless other things that need to be done every day. Think of it as "quality time", making some unforgettable memories!

One More Potato

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I thought that I would share something else that I am thankful for.

I am thankful for one more potato.

Let me explain.

I was preparing food for the Sunday potluck that we host every week. I had decided to make what I dubbed a "Thanksgiving shepherd's pie", basically a shepherd's pie with a layer of stuffing on top of the mashed potatoes. (It actually turned out really well! I would recommend trying it.) As I was peeling and chopping potatoes and putting them on to boil, I wondered if I had prepared enough potatoes. After some consideration, I decided I should peel one more, just in case. I reached down into the cupboard and pulled out one more potato.

One more potato. That was all. But that moment was very profound for me.

You see, most of us can reach into the cupboard and pull out another potato. It's so normal, we don't even think about it. But I invite you to consider for a moment with me just how amazing that is:

We have so much food. Even though there have been times when money was short, we've never gone hungry.

I get to choose what food I want to prepare. I have access to almost any kind of food I could want.

Food is a thing. Have you ever thought about that? Things grow that are edible, and we can use them to get the nutrients we need to live.

I have a wonderful, large kitchen that I get to use. It isn't a dark cave or very old and dirty like some of the other kitchens in places we have lived.

We have a large household, with an open door. I've always wanted it to be like that. We aren't just a family of two parents and two kids—we have opened our home to so many, and I am thankful for each of them.

One more potato—such a simple thing—but a reminder that I have so much to be thankful for.

What is something normal in your life that has reminded you to be thankful?

Rain!

Fall weather is here, and we are loving it! These kiddos love water in any form, and they have been having a blast making giant splashes in their pool, "watering the garden", and making mud pies. For the last few days, our times outside have involved getting thoroughly soaked, then going back inside for hot chocolate. Give us wind and rain over a sweltering summer day anytime!

Summer 2017

The kids have been keeping me busy this summer. Kenneth learned to walk and climb! If I turn my back on him for a minute I'll find him up on the couch or on his brother's bed. Kenneth's new found independence means that the kids have been playing together (and fighting!) a lot more. Steven runs through life at full speed and full enthusiasm. He has lots to say, and loves singing and reading stories. He has started to play pretend with his stuffed animals, which is so cute. We didn't get away from home much this summer, but we've had lots of visitors from out of town, and we were able to go for a family hike up Needle Peak and do some canyoneering down Fire Creek (without the kids). Here are a few pictures from our summer:

Keeping cool in the summer heat

Checking out the solar eclipse

Holding the eclipse in our hands

Posing for a photo

Exploring Fire Creek

Chillin' in a waterfall

Steven leading the way up Needle Peak

Lunch break!

At the summit

Mother's Day

When I think about Mother's Day I think about lilacs. Here in the "pacific northwest" the lilacs are almost always blooming on Mother's Day. Lilacs were my grandma's favourite flower. Her birthday and anniversary were always on or near Mother's Day, so I associate Mother's Day with celebrating those occasions too. I've been thinking about her a lot lately. This year my parents were out visiting, so I was able to host a nice family dinner. Then my parents stayed to babysit and Jesse and I got to go away for the night!  It was our first night away from the kids in two years! It was wonderful to have some quality, uninterrupted time with each other - and some uninterrupted sleep!

Being a mom has challenged me and stretched me in ways that I never imagined. Every day I struggle against the desire to complain and compare my day to my childless friends' who get to "do whatever they want". But I wouldn't change being the mother of these two rambunctious, adventurous, thoughtful, smart, caring little boys for the world. I am their mother, and I will never be the same again.

It blows my mind to think of the number of mothers in the world, giving so much of themselves every day to nurture and build up the children that God has given them (whether biologically their own or not). Mothers, you make a world of difference. You are heroes!

The Best Marriage Advice We Received

Happy Anniversary to Us!

Jesse and I have been married four years now! In these past four years we've lived in four different homes, had two kids, and gone through our share of ups and downs, joys and challenges. I'm so thankful that we can journey through the adventure of life together.

At the end of our wedding day we had a small gathering with family and close friends. It was a chance to share some intentional time with them after such a busy weekend. We shared our hopes and dreams for the future, and they had an opportunity to pray for us and share their wisdom and advice. It was a very meaningful time.

We greatly valued everything that was shared with us, but one piece of advice particularly stood out, and I know for a fact that it helped us enormously, so I thought this would be a good time to share it with you:

Never start an important conversation after 9pm.

That might seem like a kind of odd piece of advice, but consider: When you get married, you go from having comparatively limited time together to having more or less unlimited access to each other, at all hours of the day (and night). It's pretty fantastic. But the problem is learning that just because you can start an important conversation at eleven in the evening (or one in the morning), doesn't mean that you should. It's often as the day is winding down that I remember different things that I wanted to talk to Jesse about, but by then we're tired, and the conversation doesn't always go as well as we would like it to. We say things we didn't mean to say, tempers flare, and then there isn't time to cool off and deal with it properly.

There were occasions, especially at first, when we would find ourselves in the middle of an argument or misunderstanding and realize that we had neglected the advice and started an important conversation too late in the day. I had to learn to catch myself and leave bringing up those subjects for another time, and I'm always thankful that I did.

For those of you who are married, what has been the best marriage advice that has helped you? If you've been married for a long time, is there anything you wish someone had told you when you were first starting out? I'd love to learn from your experiences!

Mommy Moments: Toddler + Baby

"Having a baby and a toddler is a very interesting experience...."

*Stops the toddler from stepping on the baby.

*Stops the toddler from throwing a wooden block at the baby's head.

*Stops the toddler from poking the baby's eye.

*Stops the toddler from using the bouncy chair to launch the baby into orbit.

*Witnesses the toddler throwing a stone that bounces off the baby's tummy.

"...I've gained a new appreciation for the survival of younger siblings."

Present

The best present of all is to be present...

A Christmas morning surprise

Grandma cuddles

Hello, Great Grandma!

Making shortbread with Grandpa

A Winger Christmas

Cousin craziness

Kenneth with Great Grandpa Ken (and Great Grandma)

A visit with the Bergs too

Playing in Manitoba snow

Celebrating God-With-Us

We were delighted to be able to surprise my in-laws by joining them for Christmas this year.  It's been several years since we've been able to be with them for Christmas, and most of the family hadn't had a chance to meet Kenneth yet.  Being there with them was very special.  It reminded me that no matter what is wrapped under the tree, the very best present is presence - the presence of family and friends and our Saviour Jesus who is Emmanuel.  God is indeed with us, and we are so thankful.

I wish all of you a most blessed new year, and that you may know the love and presence of our God who is with us.

Merry Christmas 2016

Merry Christmas!

The past year has had many struggles and challenges, but also many joys and blessings.  We are so thankful for our family - both the family of blood and those who have chosen to be part of our family.  Jesus gives us hope for each new day, and we have a lot to be thankful for!

Love from the Wingers

Thankful Thursday

With all the sleep deprivation of a young mom, it's easy to feel depressed and discouraged.  But instead of complaining or mulling over everything that's wrong, today I thought I'd share 5 things that I'm thankful for!

God's Presence:

Too often I try to get through the day on my own strength, but when I slow down and turn my thoughts toward Jesus and rely on him, I'm reminded of what is really important, and I start having a better attitude.

My Husband:

For better or worse, we're in this together, and I'm so thankful to be part of a team.  He challenges me to be better and to keep pursuing my goals and dreams.  He's my primary connection to the illusive world of "adult conversations", and he's a fantastic dad.  I couldn't ask for anyone better!

This Blog:

Somehow, through all of the busy days and sleepless nights, I have still been able to continue writing on this blog.  It's really the only thing I consistently do for myself, just because I want to do it.  I don't even manage to shower consistently, so that tells you how big of a feat that is!  Having a place to express myself and develop more of my skills has helped keep me sane.

Hot Chocolate:

I may not be a coffee drinker, but I sure have been drinking lots of hot cocoa lately....  Also, having pretty mugs to drink it out of makes me happy too!

These Faces:

No matter how exhausting and challenging it is, being mom to these two incredible boys has been completely life changing. I love them to the moon and back, and wouldn't change my job for anything!

You Are Not Alone

Sometimes I feel very alone.  I imagine that you have felt that way too.  It's a side effect of our fast-paced, individualistic culture that we all face to varying degrees. As a stay-at-home mother of a toddler and an infant, my days are often chaotic and overwhelming. I'm tired. And the list of things that I need to do just gets longer rather than shorter. It's easy for me to feel very alone.

But today was a reminder for me that I am not alone. Both of the kids were being extra fussy and demanding attention and I felt like I just couldn't face the after-supper chaos, but a good friend was willing to come without any notice to help with the kids, and I was able to text Jesse at work and ask him to be praying for me. After Steven was in bed, one of our housemates took care of Kenneth so I could have a shower. An evening that I had been dreading became a manageable and even enjoyable evening, because I am not alone.

You are not alone. I promise. There is someone out there that you can call, or text. Maybe they live nearby and can come and help. Maybe they are free to chat on the phone. Maybe a quick text is all they need to start praying for you. Maybe they are there for you in some other way. However alone you feel, I promise you that there is someone who cares about you. Reach out to them; let them hear your cry for help. You are not alone.

A Shameless Plug

"Wilderness is not a luxury but a necessity of the human spirit" - Edward Abbey

I talk a lot about myself and the kids, but I wanted to take an opportunity to share a bit about what my husband has been doing.  He is currently starting up his own business for guiding custom outdoor adventures.  His business is called Further Up and Further In Adventures, and its mission is to enable all people to go the next step further up and further into nature.  He believes that getting out into nature is important for everyone, especially those who often don't have many opportunities because of mental and physical disabilities.  He will be working with clients of all ages and abilities to plan custom trips to fit their needs and goals.  I'm very excited for this new opportunity he has!

You can check out his website here: Further Up and Further In Adventures

If you live in or near the Fraser Valley, Canada, and are interested in guided hiking trips, please consider Further Up and Further In Adventures!

Welcome Kenneth

On Sunday afternoon we welcomed Kenneth Benn Winger into the big wide world!  He made a fairly dramatic entrance, with a pretty slow early labour and then a very quick active labour.  We were at the hospital when he was born, but didn't have a room yet!  We were both doing so well afterward that we were allowed to go home that night.  I've had a lot of help this week, which has been great and has given me a chance to rest and recover as much as I can.  Big brother Steven loves holding "baby" and keeps trying to share his toys and snacks with him.  I love our growing family!

What We're Missing

We're missing something.

We live in a culture of affluence and plenty, where the vast majority of us have all we could need and more.  We have conveniences of every kind, entertainment at our fingertips, and food from around the world.  But something is missing.  Something big.  We can see evidence of it all around us.  Even though we think we have everything we need, we feel empty.  We feel lonely, vulnerable, and afraid.  Depression and anxiety have spread like an epidemic.  Whatever it is that we're missing, it must huge!

I think I know what it is.

We're missing connection.  A place to belong, where we are accepted, loved, and cared for.  We're missing a village.

This lack of "village" in our culture is a relatively new phenomenon.  Most cultures throughout history have been village-based, where people live in small communities of families who live, work, and play together.  And as they gathered together, they could talk about their lives and their struggles.  They could get advice, encouragement, and practical help.

Our culture has lost that.  We live within our four little walls, often not even knowing our neighbours. Each family unit is expected to take care of their own needs and to operate independently of everyone else.  But we weren't made to function like that.  We desperately need connection - with God, nature, and other people.

The village gives each person value and a purpose.  There are many people who fall through the cracks of our society.  For example, the elderly people who often spend the final years of their life tucked out of sight in seniors' homes.  For many, that can be a lonely, isolating experience.  But in the village, the elderly had a role.  They cared for the young, watching the children, sharing from their years of experience, and in return they were cared for by the younger generation. 

Now I know that our lives are not completely devoid of human connection.  In fact, some people do have a thriving community around them.  However, that is not the "normal" or the default of our culture.  Many of us feel very, very lonely.  Even though we have "friends", most of the time they are too preoccupied with their own busy life to be there when we really need them.  Knowing people and interacting with people is not the same thing as having a village.

This lack of community affects all of us, at every stage of life.  For me, right now, it is the most obvious to see how it affects young mothers like myself.  My days overflow with the tasks of childcare and homecare.  I often find myself on the verge of tears as I try to clean up a mess on the floor, follow along with whatever game my toddler is insisting that I play with him, get the laundry hung up so we have clothes to wear the next day, and try to make a healthy, timely supper, all at the same time.  I know that there are people out there who care about me and that even might be willing to help if I asked, but most of the time I am too busy and overwhelmed to even look for help.  I need a village, but the task of finding one or making one just adds to my already overwhelming list of things to do.

In the absence of the village, it is the family that has to pick up the slack.  Now family can be and should be an amazing place of support and belonging, but it can't stand the pressure of being our only place of support.  My husband does everything he can to support me, but when he gets home from a long day of work he is very tired.  Sometimes he is able to play with Steven, help with the dishes, or listen to how my day was, but sometimes he can't.  And often I am too tired to provide the support that I know he needs from me.  Having a larger community in our life would help relieve some of that pressure.  Extended family can help, and indeed family has always been an important part of the village, but in our mobile society we often don't live near our families.  Personally, we don't live near either my family or Jesse's family.  They do what they can to support and help us, but the distance makes it challenging.

God's desire for us is that we have a village.  He has even provided one - we call it the Church.  If you think about it, everything that we long for from a village is a part of what the church is supposed to be: a community of people where you can belong and find help and encouragement.  Sadly, the church is often not like that.  Even in churches that seem healthy and open and friendly, something is often missing.  Just like in the rest of society, people are too caught up in their own busy lives.  They smile and shake your hand at church, but then rush home to their jobs and meetings and family dinners.  Church is just one of the things on their to do list, not a real community with all of its messiness, beauty, and commitment to each other.

When we don't have a village, we are left to create one on our own.  And we try.  It's something that is very important to Jesse and me.  We know all too well that we can't manage on our own.  That's a big part of why we like having people living with us, and why we're always inviting people into our home.  But we've found that all too often people are just too busy.  It gets discouraging to keep asking and keep trying.

And I don't think we're the only ones who feel like this.

So what do we do?  I think the best place to start is to be honest - to admit that we can't manage on our own, that we need the help and support of a community around us.  This really goes against the grain of our culture that smiles and says "I'm fine".  It's hard to ask for help.  And asking people to be a part of your life is a very vulnerable thing to do.  They might reject you, or take help and support from you without offering any in return.  But it is vitally important that we take that risk.  Jesse and I are slowly finding a group of people who genuinely want to be a part of our life.  It is a long, slow process, and many of those people have been called to live in other parts of the world and we don't get to see them much.

That's what we are doing.  But just like we can't live alone, we can't build community alone.  It is a task for all of us.  We don't have to accept individualism and isolation as an unavoidable reality.  We can reach out to others and welcome them into our lives.  And if you are one of those people who are blessed with a strong community around you, please open up your eyes.  There are hurting, lonely people all around you who are longing for a place to belong.  Open your hearts and homes.  Together, let's change the "normal".  There is no greater calling than sharing our life and love in the messy beauty of community.

The Cake Stand

As someone who loves story and loves history, I have always found family history fascinating.  Hearing the personal stories of the people we know who have lived longer than us is a powerful window into the time of history that they lived through, as well as a glimpse into what has shaped and influenced them throughout their lives.

But sometimes we don't think to ask, or it seems awkward or nosy.  And sometimes there are stories they won't tell, or can't tell.

I've been thinking lately about the loss of those untold stories, and have been wanting to express that sadness.  With the recent passing of my Grandma, I thought that this would be an appropriate time.

The symbol I use to represent the stories of those who have passed is a cake stand.  My Grandma's father ran a store in Victoria, known as "Pop Palmer's".  I've always wished I could go back in time and see what it was like in that store.  I know that there are still people living who could tell me more about it, but the only real connection I've had to that old store is a cake stand that my parents have that used to be in the display window of my Great-Grandpa's store.  For me that cake stand represents a past that is slowly slipping away, even out of memory.  A bittersweet reminder of the stories that are being lost.


The Cake Stand

I stand before the corner store
The sign is faded above the door
Weathered paint chips and fades
Once bright colours now grown dim.

I pull my sweater tight
Cold wind tugs at my hair
Leaves blow by in the deserted street
The year is spent and tired.

Inside glowing light beckons
The door refuses my hand's advance
Time is a lock that cannot be undone
I know I cannot enter.

I squint and peer through the frosted glass
Seeking a glimpse of what I will never know
There in the window display
I see a cake stand.

Beyond, my vision fades and blurs
Shadows of barrels and shelves
Milling figures examine the wares
Children stand on tiptoe to reach penny candy.

Bells chime as customers enter
Muffled voices carry laughter and gossip
The smell of tea and spices floats on the air
My mind explores what may have been.

The vision fades from my eyes
Replaced by creaking boards rattling in the wind
One more longing glance through the window
Before I turn to go

I see a cake stand.

Home

A little place, humble and small,
But still with enough space for all.
It's nothing really grand, you know,
The people in it make it so.
Friends and family, old and new.
We'd love to have you join us too.
So come on in! Fling wide the door.
There's always room for someone more.

You will be so glad you came.
We're always up for another game,
Or watching films on our big screen,
We'll make some popcorn in between.
Sometimes we just sit and talk
And forget all about the clock.
There's always something fun to do,
Or baby cuddles if you're feeling blue.

Let your worries fade away.
It's dinner time, why don't you stay.
There's plenty to eat, so don't be shy.
Maybe we'll cook up an apple pie.
Tell us about what matters to you,
And what you dream one day to do.
We care about both tears and mirth
And living at peace with the earth.

So come from near and come from far.
There's cookies in the cookie jar!
Put on the kettle for some tea.
We're glad you're here, as you can see.
The door is open to our home,
A peaceful place for those who roam.
Come on in! Fling wide the door.
There's always room for someone more.
 

Merry Christmas 2015

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!  May you have a blessed 2016.

Family Picnic

Sometimes, when I get an idea in my head, I go a little overboard with it.

This was one of those occasions.

I decided that it would be fun to have a family picnic, and then spent most of the day putting together the menu.  Then, when Jesse got home from work, we packed up and went down to the river, enjoyed our picnic, went for a short walk, and watched a beautiful sunset.  Was it worth the busy day in the kitchen?  Absolutely.

Here is our picnic menu:

Macaroni Salad

While it may not be much to look at, the recipe for macaroni salad that I got from my mother-in-law is very good, and easy to make.  Macaroni, hard boiled eggs, and tuna are mixed together with oil, vinegar, salt, pepper, and celery seed.

Honey Garlic Drumsticks

This recipe that I found online is definitely a winner!  I minced the garlic instead of chopping it, and used crushed chili pepper flakes instead of hot sauce.  Sweet, spicy, and garlicky, I would definitely use this recipe again!  Honey Garlic Drumsticks

Citrus Iced Tea

I got this recipe from a friend of mine, and it has become a summer staple in our home!  Steep green tea with mint leaves, then add honey, orange juice, and lemon juice before chilling in the fridge.  A refreshing reminder that summer is indeed on the way!

Strawberry Hand Pies

Portable dessert at its finest!  I found this recipe online, and it turned out pretty well.  Having to make the pastry was fairly time consuming, but if I already had some made in the fridge this this would be quite easy.  I added a few cranberries to the strawberry filling which added a nice tang to it.  Strawberry Hand Pies

A Healthy Portion of Family Time in God's Beautiful Creation:  The best part!