What To Do

One of the best things about vacations (especially the visiting-relations-who-love-taking-care-of-your-kids-for-you kind of vacations) is that they give you lots extra time to think and dream and plan. I've been doing lots of thinking and dreaming and planning lately, even before our vacation started. Perhaps it has been a way to mentally escape from the dirty diapers and laundry and tantrums, reminding myself that this is just a season. It will pass.

I've never been very good at long-term planning, which is kind of funny considering how much I like planning in general. I think it is because I've never been able to settle on what I want to do with my life. I'm not even very good at deciding what I want to pursue next.

There are a lot of things that I enjoy, and a lot of things that I want to do. For example, I'd love to go back to school. I really enjoy learning, and I'm good at academics. But even if I decided to go back to school, that just leads to more decisions. What school do I go to, and what do I study? There are many subjects I am interested in, including psychology, anthropology, education, theatre, Christian spirituality, and history.

And as much as I'd enjoy being a perpetual student, what would my goal be for further education? I'd love to get a Masters degree, but a masters in what? I'd love to be able to teach at a post secondary level, but what would I teach?

And then there's theatre. If you've known me for very long at all you know about my love of theatre and the way that it builds community and brings people together. I'd love to get the training I need to improve my skills as a director. I'd love to be a director again! It's been four years since the last time I directed a production - and there was a time in my life when I'd start getting antsy if it had been longer than a year!

And then I've really been enjoying my writing. Beyond this blog and the storytelling project that I'm a part of, I am also in the middle of revising my musical based on the story of Ruth. And as if those aren't enough, I have a plethora of other script and story ideas just waiting to be written.

But my days only have 24 hours, and my weeks only have 7 days. And for this season, most of those are claimed by the little people who call me Mommy. But in the hours and minutes that I can claim for myself, there is so much I want to do! How do I even begin to choose?

I hope that I will have the chance in my life to pursue most if not all of the different things I think about. But since the time I have right now is so limited, I want to be intentional with it. What do I pursue? Education? Theatre? Writing? Something else?

I don't know.