My brain is full
Full of thoughts
Swirling around and around
Tumbling over each other
In either excitement or confusion
Sometimes I'm not sure
But all of these thoughts
Are certainly very important
Attempt to corral them
Into conventional words
When I need them
They elude my grasp
Without a care
Away
They
Fly
Tuesday, 29 December 2015
Friday, 25 December 2015
Thursday, 24 December 2015
Dairy-Free Fudge
Shhhh.... I'm going to tell you a secret! Promise not to give it away? I'm giving Jesse fudge for Christmas! He loves fudge, but it is pretty expensive, and anyway he shouldn't eat it because of the dairy in it. So I am making dairy-free fudge!
To be honest, if you're reading this after Christmas morning, it's not a secret anymore. But it's fun to think that we are sharing a secret anyways!
This fudge is so yummy, and it's actually a really easy recipe, so I thought I'd share it with you.
Dairy-Free Fudge
Sift 4 cups icing sugar and 1/2 cup cocoa powder into a bowl. Add 1 cup chocolate chips, and set aside. (If you want the recipe to be strictly dairy-free, be sure to use dairy-free chocolate chips.)
In a medium pot, measure 1/2 cup almond milk and 2 tablespoons margarine.
Heat on a medium-high heat, stirring constantly, until it starts boiling. Remove from the heat and add the sugar/cocoa mixture.
Mix, and add 1 teaspoon of flavouring (vanilla extract, mint extract, hazelnut extract, etc.). I used mint extract. Hooray for chocolate-mint yumminess!
Mix until thoroughly combined. I found that it got pretty stiff by the time I was done.
Spread in an 8x8 pan. I used a silicone pan, and it worked really well! If you use a regular pan, you would want to grease it or line it with parchment paper. I found that the easiest way to spread it out was with the back of a spoon.
Cool in the fridge for several hours.
I turned it out onto a cutting board to cut it into squares.
And I decorated them with crushed candy canes.
In a tin, ready to give to Jesse! The fudge needs to be stored in the fridge or freezer, since it gets pretty soft if you leave it at room temperature for too long. You can check out the original recipe at this link.
Pretty Christmas fudge!
What are some of your favourite kinds of Christmas baking?
Tuesday, 22 December 2015
A Poem Remembering Those for Whom Christmas is not Easy
For some people
Christmas is not easy.
Like the young family
Friends gone for the holidays
Or too busy with their own families
To remember they are alone.
Like the old man
Last living of his peers
Sitting alone in his room
With his memories.
Like the shattered family
Heartbroken and hurting
No longer gathering
In the same place.
Like the person who said goodbye
To someone they love deeply
And the empty place at the table
Somehow seems emptier.
Like the young woman
Poor and far from home
Pregnant and uncomfortable
With nowhere to stay for the night.
For some people
Christmas is not easy.
Christmas is not easy.
Like the young family
Friends gone for the holidays
Or too busy with their own families
To remember they are alone.
Like the old man
Last living of his peers
Sitting alone in his room
With his memories.
Like the shattered family
Heartbroken and hurting
No longer gathering
In the same place.
Like the person who said goodbye
To someone they love deeply
And the empty place at the table
Somehow seems emptier.
Like the young woman
Poor and far from home
Pregnant and uncomfortable
With nowhere to stay for the night.
For some people
Christmas is not easy.
Thursday, 17 December 2015
Sushi
When we were visiting our friends last week, I got to try making sushi. It was something I hadn't done before, so I enjoyed learning a bit about the process. Here are some pictures!
 |
| Ready to start! |
 |
| Spreading the rice |
 |
| Adding the filling |
 |
| David showing me how it's done |
 |
| Rolling it up |
 |
| Then you cut it |
 |
| Aren't they pretty! |
 |
| Ready to eat! |
Tuesday, 15 December 2015
Road Trip
Hours of driving
Through the mountains
Long conversations
Playing with baby
Sing along to music
Running late
Push through
Try to keep baby happy
Arrive late
Sleep
Visit with friends
A walk in the snow
Pull the kids on the sled
Sit around the table
With a hot drink
Playing a game
Leave late afternoon
Phone conversations
Drive through the night
Watch the northern lights
Too tired to keep driving
Nap in a parking lot
Drive on
Arrive late afternoon
Stay for a week
Lots of good food
Playing games
Walks in the snow
Good conversations
Colouring
Dancing
Make sushi
Decorate the Christmas tree
Sad to say goodbye
Leave early
Drive all day
See meteor shower
Find a hotel
Sleep
Drive more
Snowy mountain passes
Finally arriving
To a home that is empty
But still glad
To be home
Through the mountains
Long conversations
Playing with baby
Sing along to music
Running late
Push through
Try to keep baby happy
Arrive late
Sleep
Visit with friends
A walk in the snow
Pull the kids on the sled
Sit around the table
With a hot drink
Playing a game
Leave late afternoon
Phone conversations
Drive through the night
Watch the northern lights
Too tired to keep driving
Nap in a parking lot
Drive on
Arrive late afternoon
Stay for a week
Lots of good food
Playing games
Walks in the snow
Good conversations
Colouring
Dancing
Make sushi
Decorate the Christmas tree
Sad to say goodbye
Leave early
Drive all day
See meteor shower
Find a hotel
Sleep
Drive more
Snowy mountain passes
Finally arriving
To a home that is empty
But still glad
To be home
Thursday, 10 December 2015
Baking with Frozen Bananas
Whenever we buy bananas, it seems like there are always one or two that don't get eaten and start getting soft and overripe. Those bananas generally end up in the freezer, and every couple months or so we use them to bake a bunch of banana muffins or something.
Baking with frozen bananas used to involve thawing the bananas on the counter or in a sink of warm water and then peeling the slimy, soggy bananas before mashing them and proceeding with the recipe. But then I learned that there is another way to peel frozen bananas which doesn't include any slimy nastiness! So I thought I would share it with you!
How to Peel Frozen Bananas (without the slimy nastiness)
1. Take the frozen bananas out of the freezer.
2. Use a serrated knife to cut each banana into approximately 3 pieces while it is still frozen.
3. Make a cut through the peel of each piece.
4. Peel off the peel! If it is challenging to pull the peel off, you can let them sit and thaw a little while, but not so long that they get slimy.
5. Mash the banana with a potato masher.
6. Use the mashed banana to make yummy baking!
I love discovering useful tips for the kitchen. What are some tips that have helped you?
Baking with frozen bananas used to involve thawing the bananas on the counter or in a sink of warm water and then peeling the slimy, soggy bananas before mashing them and proceeding with the recipe. But then I learned that there is another way to peel frozen bananas which doesn't include any slimy nastiness! So I thought I would share it with you!
How to Peel Frozen Bananas (without the slimy nastiness)
1. Take the frozen bananas out of the freezer.
2. Use a serrated knife to cut each banana into approximately 3 pieces while it is still frozen.
3. Make a cut through the peel of each piece.
4. Peel off the peel! If it is challenging to pull the peel off, you can let them sit and thaw a little while, but not so long that they get slimy.
5. Mash the banana with a potato masher.
6. Use the mashed banana to make yummy baking!
I love discovering useful tips for the kitchen. What are some tips that have helped you?
Tuesday, 8 December 2015
Emotions
I'm a very emotional person.
I feel emotions very strongly. And very often. You see, my emotions aren't only affected by the things happening around me, I also have emotional responses to things that I imagine. And I don't only feel my own emotions, when I am around other people I subconsciously absorb their emotions too. And I can absorb emotions from movies and other media too, as if I was living it. As a result, my life feels like it is rather like a roller-coaster of ups and downs, which can be quite exhausting.
In any given day I can feel depressed about something that isn't going well, angry because of something hurtful that someone said, happy that I was able to get lots done during the baby's nap, devastated because of some tragedy I saw in a news article, frustrated because Jesse was frustrated about something, stressed because a character in a movie I watched made a stupid mistake, excited because I heard from a friend that they did well in an exam, and grief-stricken because I imagined what it would be like to live through some sort of tragedy involving death and destruction.
And the thing with many emotions is that they hurt. It's painful to feel so deeply.
So I figure out ways to limit it. I rarely watch new movies so that I don't have to "live" through more stress and tragedy. I don't watch the news or read the paper. I'm trying to learn how to not take on the emotions of the people around me.
Something I didn't realize is that I also built a kind of wall around myself. This was a surprising realization, since I prided myself in being personable and genuine and open with people. I was those things, but apparently only to a certain point. I wanted to protect myself, because when you are very close to people, it's so much easier to get hurt. And it's very hard to say goodbye.
This past week has been very challenging.
Our baby had a sinus infection, so he was feverish and grumpy and not sleeping well. At the same time we were trying to get ready for going on our family vacation, which included having some Christmas things ready to send out to Ontario, as well as cleaning and baking and packing. And we discovered that there was black mold growing in our closet. And we had to say goodbye to Steve.
Yes, "Uncle" Steve is moving out. It's for a good reason though - he got his dream job! And we are very excited for him. But that means that he can't live with us anymore.
That's what made me notice the whole wall thing. Because it has been a very long time since I have been so sad to say goodbye to someone. It's like I've always been thinking in the back of my mind, "Care about people, but don't care TOO much, because then they will leave and it will be very sad". But somehow Steve got past that wall. He's a part of our family, and we care about him a lot. So I'm sad. But at the same time I am realizing that it's good to be sad, to care about someone enough that it hurts when they leave.
It's easy to equate pain with bad. We don't like feeling pain, and we do what we can to avoid it. So when emotions are causing us pain, it is easy to assume that they are bad. But I have to remind myself that emotions are actually a good and necessary part of life. Even the so-called "negative" emotions.
I think that the movie Inside Out does a really good job of portraying the way that each of the emotions has a purpose. In Inside Out the personified emotions have a hard time accepting Sadness, just like many of us would rather not feel sad. But along with the characters of Inside Out, we need to learn to value all of our emotions and learn what they are trying to tell us about what is important to us and how we are being affected by what is going on around us.
So I am continuing to learn to accept my emotions, even the ones that hurt. To live life fully, there is risk - risk of getting hurt, but I am learning that it is worth it.
I feel emotions very strongly. And very often. You see, my emotions aren't only affected by the things happening around me, I also have emotional responses to things that I imagine. And I don't only feel my own emotions, when I am around other people I subconsciously absorb their emotions too. And I can absorb emotions from movies and other media too, as if I was living it. As a result, my life feels like it is rather like a roller-coaster of ups and downs, which can be quite exhausting.
In any given day I can feel depressed about something that isn't going well, angry because of something hurtful that someone said, happy that I was able to get lots done during the baby's nap, devastated because of some tragedy I saw in a news article, frustrated because Jesse was frustrated about something, stressed because a character in a movie I watched made a stupid mistake, excited because I heard from a friend that they did well in an exam, and grief-stricken because I imagined what it would be like to live through some sort of tragedy involving death and destruction.
And the thing with many emotions is that they hurt. It's painful to feel so deeply.
So I figure out ways to limit it. I rarely watch new movies so that I don't have to "live" through more stress and tragedy. I don't watch the news or read the paper. I'm trying to learn how to not take on the emotions of the people around me.
Something I didn't realize is that I also built a kind of wall around myself. This was a surprising realization, since I prided myself in being personable and genuine and open with people. I was those things, but apparently only to a certain point. I wanted to protect myself, because when you are very close to people, it's so much easier to get hurt. And it's very hard to say goodbye.
This past week has been very challenging.
Our baby had a sinus infection, so he was feverish and grumpy and not sleeping well. At the same time we were trying to get ready for going on our family vacation, which included having some Christmas things ready to send out to Ontario, as well as cleaning and baking and packing. And we discovered that there was black mold growing in our closet. And we had to say goodbye to Steve.
Yes, "Uncle" Steve is moving out. It's for a good reason though - he got his dream job! And we are very excited for him. But that means that he can't live with us anymore.
That's what made me notice the whole wall thing. Because it has been a very long time since I have been so sad to say goodbye to someone. It's like I've always been thinking in the back of my mind, "Care about people, but don't care TOO much, because then they will leave and it will be very sad". But somehow Steve got past that wall. He's a part of our family, and we care about him a lot. So I'm sad. But at the same time I am realizing that it's good to be sad, to care about someone enough that it hurts when they leave.
It's easy to equate pain with bad. We don't like feeling pain, and we do what we can to avoid it. So when emotions are causing us pain, it is easy to assume that they are bad. But I have to remind myself that emotions are actually a good and necessary part of life. Even the so-called "negative" emotions.
I think that the movie Inside Out does a really good job of portraying the way that each of the emotions has a purpose. In Inside Out the personified emotions have a hard time accepting Sadness, just like many of us would rather not feel sad. But along with the characters of Inside Out, we need to learn to value all of our emotions and learn what they are trying to tell us about what is important to us and how we are being affected by what is going on around us.
So I am continuing to learn to accept my emotions, even the ones that hurt. To live life fully, there is risk - risk of getting hurt, but I am learning that it is worth it.
Sunday, 6 December 2015
11 Months
 |
| Playing on the ferry, on the way to visit Nana and Grandpa |
 |
| Visiting Great Granny |
 |
| Playing piano with Grandpa |
 |
| Supper time! |
 |
| Playing with Jasper |
 |
| Going for a walk in stormy weather |
 |
| Growing up |
Thursday, 3 December 2015
Cinnamon Buns
I recently found a recipe for 1-Hour Cinnamon Rolls, so I thought I would give it a try. I was originally hoping to make them for our Saturday night game night, but Saturday was crazy so that didn't happen! And I made them on Sunday instead. You're supposed to use a mixer, but since we don't have one I did it all by hand. That made it a bit more work, but it was still a good recipe. And it makes a lot of cinnamon rolls! But I do have to say that it took me significantly longer than one hour to make them! Maybe the original author wasn't having to multitask while caring for a baby...
Here is my adjusted recipe:
1 1/2 Hour Cinnamon Rolls
Mix 3 1/2 cups of warm water, 3/4 cup sugar, 1/2 cup oil and 6 tablespoons yeast in a large bowl and let it sit for 15 minutes.
Then add 1 tablespoon salt, 3 eggs, and 10 1/2 cups flour. Mix well.
Then oil your hands and knead the dough for 10 minutes.
Cover with a tea towel and let sit for 10 minutes. During that time, preheat the oven to 400 degrees, melt 1/4 cup butter and set aside, and mix together 1 cup sugar and 1 tablespoon cinnamon in a small bowl.
When the 10 minutes is up, oil a countertop, and dump out the dough. Divide the dough in half, and use your hands to spread out half the dough into a rectangle.
Coat with half of the melted butter (it's easiest if you use your hands to spread it around).
And sprinkle with half of the cinnamon sugar.
Roll it up!
Cut into 12 slices. I find it easiest to use a bread knife.
Place them on a greased tray. I use silicone baking mats, which are great! They make the trays nonstick without having to use grease or parchment paper.
Repeat the process with the second half of the dough. Let them sit for a while to rise. I found that they needed about 20 minutes since I use whole grain flour and that takes a while to rise. Bake at 400 degrees for 12-15 minutes.
You can make icing with 1/2 cup butter, 2 teaspoons vanilla, 6 cups icing sugar, and enough milk to make your desired consistency. I didn't have enough icing sugar around, but we found that the cinnamon rolls were very good with a drizzle of maple syrup!
Enjoy!
Here is my adjusted recipe:
1 1/2 Hour Cinnamon Rolls
Mix 3 1/2 cups of warm water, 3/4 cup sugar, 1/2 cup oil and 6 tablespoons yeast in a large bowl and let it sit for 15 minutes.
Then add 1 tablespoon salt, 3 eggs, and 10 1/2 cups flour. Mix well.
Then oil your hands and knead the dough for 10 minutes.
Cover with a tea towel and let sit for 10 minutes. During that time, preheat the oven to 400 degrees, melt 1/4 cup butter and set aside, and mix together 1 cup sugar and 1 tablespoon cinnamon in a small bowl.
When the 10 minutes is up, oil a countertop, and dump out the dough. Divide the dough in half, and use your hands to spread out half the dough into a rectangle.
Coat with half of the melted butter (it's easiest if you use your hands to spread it around).
And sprinkle with half of the cinnamon sugar.
Roll it up!
Cut into 12 slices. I find it easiest to use a bread knife.
Place them on a greased tray. I use silicone baking mats, which are great! They make the trays nonstick without having to use grease or parchment paper.
Repeat the process with the second half of the dough. Let them sit for a while to rise. I found that they needed about 20 minutes since I use whole grain flour and that takes a while to rise. Bake at 400 degrees for 12-15 minutes.
You can make icing with 1/2 cup butter, 2 teaspoons vanilla, 6 cups icing sugar, and enough milk to make your desired consistency. I didn't have enough icing sugar around, but we found that the cinnamon rolls were very good with a drizzle of maple syrup!
Enjoy!
Tuesday, 1 December 2015
Life-Changing Moments
I was recently asked to describe an event in my past that had a significant impact on my life and who I am. As you may guess, that is a hard question to answer! Everything we go through shapes and changes us in some way. If I thought about it long enough, I suspect that my list of "life-changing moments" would be very long! I ended up giving two responses to the question. I thought it was an interesting process to think about how certain events in my life have impacted me, so I decided that I would share my list with you too! And now there are three things, because I added another one.... I'd better hurry and finish writing this post before I think of more to add!
Families living together
When I was growing up, there were a couple different occasions when we had friends who were moving and needed a place to stay between houses, and so they stayed with my family. This generally resulted in over ten people living in the same house. As a kid, I loved it! It was like getting to have friends over all the time! But I also learned a lot from it and appreciated it at a much deeper level that really impacted me. I got to experience community living in a very real way. I learned that it is not always easy, but that it can be very rewarding. I appreciated getting to know people better and loved always having lots of people around the table for dinner. I think that was something that sowed the seed for my desire and calling to live in community all the time, having a home that is always full of people.
Homeschool plays
As a kid I really loved theatre, but never had a chance to be involved in much beyond church productions and putting together random skits with friends. At one point, when I was 14, I wrote a script, and apparently I was annoying my mom by continuing to talk about how someone should use my script to put on a play (at least that's what she told me later), so to get me to stop talking about it she just said, "Well, why don't you put on the play yourself?" I took her seriously, and began directing homeschool plays.
Directing homeschool plays became a yearly thing that continued until I left for Bible School. That affected me a lot, providing a context to grow in confidence, and learn valuable skills. I discovered that theatre is a powerful tool for building community and helping others.
A Really Hard Job
At one point I worked several months in a job that I found very challenging. The work itself wasn't too bad, but I was interacting daily with people who were going through a very hard time in their life. I found myself wanting to help them, but felt inadequate and helpless. That was what motivated me to get a degree in counselling. My education has greatly impacted the direction of my life, not to mention the fact that I met my husband there... so I'd say that was very life-changing!
What are some life-changing moments that have shaped your life?
Families living together
When I was growing up, there were a couple different occasions when we had friends who were moving and needed a place to stay between houses, and so they stayed with my family. This generally resulted in over ten people living in the same house. As a kid, I loved it! It was like getting to have friends over all the time! But I also learned a lot from it and appreciated it at a much deeper level that really impacted me. I got to experience community living in a very real way. I learned that it is not always easy, but that it can be very rewarding. I appreciated getting to know people better and loved always having lots of people around the table for dinner. I think that was something that sowed the seed for my desire and calling to live in community all the time, having a home that is always full of people.
Homeschool plays
As a kid I really loved theatre, but never had a chance to be involved in much beyond church productions and putting together random skits with friends. At one point, when I was 14, I wrote a script, and apparently I was annoying my mom by continuing to talk about how someone should use my script to put on a play (at least that's what she told me later), so to get me to stop talking about it she just said, "Well, why don't you put on the play yourself?" I took her seriously, and began directing homeschool plays.
Directing homeschool plays became a yearly thing that continued until I left for Bible School. That affected me a lot, providing a context to grow in confidence, and learn valuable skills. I discovered that theatre is a powerful tool for building community and helping others.
A Really Hard Job
At one point I worked several months in a job that I found very challenging. The work itself wasn't too bad, but I was interacting daily with people who were going through a very hard time in their life. I found myself wanting to help them, but felt inadequate and helpless. That was what motivated me to get a degree in counselling. My education has greatly impacted the direction of my life, not to mention the fact that I met my husband there... so I'd say that was very life-changing!
What are some life-changing moments that have shaped your life?
Thursday, 26 November 2015
Game Review: BrainBashers
This summer I discovered a website that has pretty much every kind of puzzle that you can think of. I really enjoy solving puzzles, so this was a great find for me! (And maybe a not-so-great find considering the amount of time I've spent on it since finding it...) I have enjoyed being able to try new kinds of puzzles, and have access to old classics as well. So I thought I would share it with you! I'm sorry in advance if you end up spending too much time on it...
www.brainbashers.com
Here are three of my current favourites.
Light Up:
This puzzle involves placing lightbulbs in the puzzle which shed "light" horizontally and vertically. Each lightbulb can't shed light on any other lightbulbs. There are numbers that indicate how many light bulbs are touching that number as hints to help you solve the puzzle, and the goal is to light up the whole grid.
Drop Quotes:
The letters in each column belong in the spaces under the column, and make a quote. It's fun to solve, and sometimes the quotes are really good!
Killer Sudoku:
A much harder version of the standard sudoku, which has the same rules as sudoku but with the addition of the squares being grouped up into "cages" and given a clue which all of the numbers in the "cage" add up to.
What kinds of puzzles do you enjoy?
www.brainbashers.com
Here are three of my current favourites.
Light Up:
This puzzle involves placing lightbulbs in the puzzle which shed "light" horizontally and vertically. Each lightbulb can't shed light on any other lightbulbs. There are numbers that indicate how many light bulbs are touching that number as hints to help you solve the puzzle, and the goal is to light up the whole grid.
Drop Quotes:
The letters in each column belong in the spaces under the column, and make a quote. It's fun to solve, and sometimes the quotes are really good!
Killer Sudoku:
A much harder version of the standard sudoku, which has the same rules as sudoku but with the addition of the squares being grouped up into "cages" and given a clue which all of the numbers in the "cage" add up to.
What kinds of puzzles do you enjoy?
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