Garden 2016

I love gardening.  There is something very special about getting your hands in the dirt and watching things grow.  I got to garden a lot when I was growing up, but it's been harder since I moved away and got married.  Apartments with north-facing balconies aren't exactly the best locations for attempting to grow things.  Now that we are renting a house with a yard, I actually have the opportunity to have a garden!  Unfortunately, since we moved in at the beginning of May and the property didn't have any garden space prepared (except for a couple small patches of very-overgrown, shaded flower beds) we just didn't have the time to make a garden for this summer.  But I was still able to have my potted plants, which are doing significantly better this year, now that they have sunshine!

While I eagerly anticipate having a real garden next year, I am enjoying my small potted garden and the fact we have a yard now where Steven can run and play.  Here are some pictures!

Steven and I just shared our first homegrown strawberry of the season.

My herbs are in individual pots this year.

This little oak tree seeded itself at our old place, and now it's growing like crazy!

The rose bush that Jesse gave me for our anniversary this year.

Our yard has two apple trees, and I'm already using windfalls to make applesauce.

Our mystery tree, which I identified as a Butternut - we'll be drying nuts this fall!

The pile of lumber that is soon going to be our garden shed.

Steven helping Daddy build a fence.

Steven's new sandbox, affectionately called "pat-pat".

My new hat - trying to beat the heat!

Spiders

I never liked spiders.

They are creepy and icky and nasty.

I feel like my response to spiders is fairly average.  If I notice one in its natural habitat (outside), I avoid it, keep my distance, or maybe use a stick to knock its web down if it's in my way.  But if the spider has invaded my space (inside), their demise is imminent.  If I'm feeling brave or if it's a particularly small spider, I'll deal with it myself with a tissue.  If it's of any decent size or if I'm just not feeling up for it, the appearance of the spider is meet with cries for assistance from whoever may be within earshot, particularly if there are any males in the house.

There was one particular occasion of note when I was able to coexist with a spider.  In the house where I grew up there was once a spider that built its web in the bathroom.  Since it wasn't too big, I tried to dispose of it myself, but it escaped into the crack between the counter and the wall.  This distressed me, since the only thing worse than seeing a spider is knowing that there is one nearby that you can't see anymore.  But there was nothing I could do.  The spider later rebuilt its web, but once again escaped my attempts to rid myself of its presence.  There was only one thing left that I could think of to do.  I named the spider.  Its name was Mr. Creepy, and we had an uneasy truce until Mr. Creepy disappeared a couple weeks later and was never seen again.

Fast forward many years to when Jesse and I were moving into our new house.  Well, new to us.  It's actually a very old house.  It has a lot of character, and it is already feeling like home, but one of the first thoughts I had when I saw it was that it was the kind of house that would have a lot of spiders.  I was right.  It doesn't help that it wasn't lived in for many months before we moved in, and it also doesn't help that none of the windows have screens, so if we want to let in any fresh air or try to cool things down in the evenings (it gets so hot upstairs when it's a sunny day!) we also end up letting in a lot of little critters too.

Our first few weeks in the new house involved my usual attitude of "death to all spiders", but something was brewing in the back of my mind.  You see, I don't particularly like killing things.  I'm not a vegetarian, but I have been struggling with the concept of animals being raised purely to be killed.  And I certainly don't support meat animals being raised in inhumane conditions like they so often are.  I also don't agree with animals being killed needlessly or for sport.

The problem with this was becoming evident: Where do you draw the line?  At what point is the creature small enough that its life doesn't matter anymore?  Why was I picking and choosing what was ok to kill and what wasn't?  I'd be very sad to crush a bumblebee or a ladybug, but why did I consider killing spiders to be ok just because they are ugly and scary?  It's still something I think about a lot.

So I decided to change something.  I stopped killing the spiders.  Some of the nastier ones I trapped and set loose outside, but others I just let be.  And a strange thing happened.  They aren't as scary now.  It's true, I still don't particularly like spiders.  I still think they are creepy and ugly.  But I don't freak out whenever I see one.  I don't automatically think that I have to kill it.  I have found that we can coexist.

I think that this is about something bigger than just spiders.  There is a lot of fear and hatred in our world.  Yes, people fear and hate spiders, but even more tragically, people fear and hate other people.  We fear those who are different than us, we feel threatened by their presence, and so we kill them.  Sometimes the killing is literal.  But for most of us it's much more subtle.  We kill their character, we gossip and slander, we label them and ostracize them, we deny our common humanity and forget that they are unique people, with their own story, made in the image of God.

The tragedy is that fear is a self-perpetuating cycle.  When we act in fear we reinforce that fear and make it even stronger.  Just as fearing spiders led me to kill spiders, which made me fear spiders even more, when we kill others (literally or figuratively) we become even more afraid of them and the cycle of fear and violence continues.

To stop the cycle, we have to stop acting in fear.  We have to stop supporting violence.  Violence can never cure fear, it will only promote it.  I know, it's hard not to act out of fear.  Fear is a natural response to danger that's designed to keep us safe.  But it becomes a problem when we are afraid of the wrong things, and when we respond to that fear with violence.  God has not called us to be a people of fear, but a people of love, like Jesus risking everything to welcome those who society fears and rejects and kills.

It's not an easy calling, to follow our Prince of Peace, but lately I have been encouraged.  I didn't expect to ever coexist with spiders, or have anything other than hatred for them.  Yet, all I did was stop killing them, and the change happened on its own.

Let's stop responding to our fear with violence, and perhaps together we can change the cycle of fear, hatred, and violence that we see in the world around us.

Green Smoothies

Green smoothies.  I've always been skeptical of the idea.  I love smoothies, but as far as I am concerned they are meant to be packed full of yummy things like fruit and yogurt, not spinach.  So I never tried it, and didn't have any plans to.

But the other day Steven was being really fussy, rubbing at his face, and refusing to eat much - sure signs of some kind of teething troubles (2 year molars already? Yikes!).  Desperate to get some kind of nutrition into him, Jesse suggested having smoothies for supper, and I thought that if there would ever be a time to try my hand at making a green smoothie, this was it.

In hopes of my green smoothie not being as nasty as I feared, I turned to the internet for guidance, and found this website with some simple guidelines: How to Make a Perfect Green Smoothie.

Apparently a rough recipe is 2 cups greens, 2 cups liquids, and 3 cups fruit.

I used both spinach and kale, since that's what I had in the fridge.  I packed my greens into my measuring cup pretty tightly, because if I didn't pack them in I wouldn't actually be using very much at all.  For liquids I decided to use coconut water, because someone left a couple cans of it here and what else am I going to use it for?  It turned out that there was exactly 2 cups of it in one of the cans.  Well, that was perfect.

The greens and coconut water went in the blender and I mixed them up.  Apparently that's the best way to make sure that the greens actually get pulverized into small enough bits that your smoothie doesn't end up with the texture of a salad.

Next, you add the fruit.  Using frozen fruit helps the smoothie be cold, so I grabbed some blueberries and cherries from the freezer.

And I also cut up a mango, because mangoes are delicious.

The completed smoothie, after everything was blended together.  This recipe made for a very full blender, which was enough for Steven and I both to have as much as we wanted, with one cupful left over in the fridge.  Jesse didn't end up having any... he said it was because he wanted to make sure that Steven had enough, but personally I think he was skeptical of a smoothie that had green stuff in it.  That said, it didn't end up looking particularly green, so if he hadn't seen me making it, would he have figured it out?

So, what was the verdict on my first green smoothie?  Well, it wasn't my favourite, though it was drinkable.  The greens didn't end up in small enough bits for my liking, so I felt like I had to chew it.  And the amount of frozen fruit I used was barely enough to chill the smoothie.  Personally, I like my smoothies so cold and thick that it's hard to get it through a straw.  So next time (if there is a next time), I would probably try adding less liquid so it's not as runny, blending the greens longer, and making sure all of the fruit I add is frozen so the smoothie is colder.

But, I am pleased to say that Steven loved it!  And I was happy knowing that he was getting the nutrition that he needed.

18 Months Old!

Our little Steven is a whole year and a half old now!  His language skills have been growing in leaps and bounds as he is learning new words all the time, and loves imitating the sounds things make, especially animals and vehicles.  He has become quite the little copycat, mimicking what he sees people do.  Most notably, he has learned that we hold hands and pray before a meal, so he holds out his hands, saying "pray" to remind us - and does it several times per meal!  So we've been doing lots of praying around the dinner table.  Steven also has a growing love for things with wheels and that go "vroom", and continues to love dancing to music and being chased and tickled.  We got to spend lots of time with family over the past couple months, with two trips to visit my family and two weeks spent in Ontario with Jesse's family.  While flying with a toddler had its challenging moments, Steven particularly liked takeoff, landing, and the turbulence, saying "weeee!".  He loves spending time outside, particularly playing with dirt/sand, water, or rocks.  He's an adventurous little guy, climbing, running, and exploring the world.

Helping Mommy in the garden

Learning to eat with a spoon

Lots of adventures in Ontario

Puzzles with Grandma

All dressed up for Uncle Andrew's wedding

Mowing the lawn like Daddy

Making a House into a Home

Trying to settle into a new home is quite the process!  The time and energy it takes really caught me off guard this time.  We moved just over two months ago now, and it still feels like we have so much to do to finish settling! 

I suppose this move was pretty different than the previous two moves we've had.  When Jesse and I moved into our first home after getting married we had lots of time to set things up, and since I wasn't able to find work that summer I was able to invest a lot of time into getting things the way we wanted them.  Our second move only involved changing units in our housing complex, and although I was pregnant and a part time student at the time, I still had plenty of extra time to invest into settling in.  This time I am pregnant again, but also the mother of a very busy toddler, who loves to get into everything and take up every minute of my time.  And we moved from a little apartment into a (comparatively) large 4 bedroom house that's old and has a lot of "character" (and random awkward spaces).  And we've spent most of the past month away visiting family.  Most of the boxes are unpacked, it's true, and things are functional, but it just doesn't quite seem like "home" yet.  That takes time.  Time that I just don't seem to have. 

We are making progress, however.  We just moved Steven out of our bedroom and into his own room.  Even though it's not quite finished being set up yet, it's usable now.  And, I'm happy to say, we have one room that is actually completely done!  Well, it's not even a room, more like a corner, but it is completely set up and perfect and I love it!  Check out our reading nook, isn't it great?

I can't tell you how good it feels to have a space, however small, that is completely finished.  And other areas in our house are progressing.  It shouldn't be too long before our room and Steven's room are done, and that will be our whole upstairs!  It's hard not having the time to invest all at once and just get it done.  I've been finding it hard to do much of anything beyond the daily essentials, but we will get there someday!

I'm not sure, but I think that our reading nook may remain my favourite place in our new house.  What's your favourite place in your house?

The Ups and Downs

Do you ever feel that when everything is going well all of life is amazing, but when you're feeling down or depressed everything is awful?

I've been feeling pretty up-and-down the past few days.  We got back home from a wonderful two weeks away visiting my in-laws, which involved me having next to no responsibilities or things I had to do.  I got to sleep in, write, work on little projects, help with a puzzle (I hadn't had a chance to work on a puzzle in ages!), go for walks by myself, and overall have a wonderful time of rest.  Now we're home, and once again I am faced with the endless dishes, laundry, and cleaning that come with the job of "mommy".  Steven is being a handful, since he is used to all of the attention that his grandparents and aunties could provide.  We are all having to adjust to the time change.  And we still have so much to do to settle into our new home.  It's been pretty overwhelming.

When I'm feeling overwhelmed, tired, and depressed, that feeling seems to encompass everything.  It's hard to see the blessings and the joys in life.  It feels like it has always been that way, and will always be that way.  It's hard to remember that this is just a season, and that even a good night's sleep can make a world of difference.

A short poem I wrote last night sums up what that emotional state is like for me:

Night is around me again
Blackness permeating everything.
Did I just imagine
The music and flowers
The sunlight that warmed me?
If this is reality
Can I keep dreaming?

But then this morning, I wasn't feeling so bad.  Sitting in the sunshine in our yard, watching Jesse cut the lawn, and Steven pushing a toy around pretending to cut the lawn like daddy, I felt like life was pretty good.  There has been several ups and downs today since then, each bringing with them the feeling that everything is awful, or that things are actually pretty good.

And this is actually pretty normal.  It's part of how the human mind works.  When we are feeling sad, it's easier for us to remember other sad memories.  When we are happy it's easier for us to remember other happy memories.  But even though I know about that, when I'm feeling down it's so hard to keep things in their proper perspective.  The emotion encompasses everything and it's hard to see the bigger picture.

It's a challenge.  But it's something I'm working on.