Meditation on John 1:35-39

Dusty road
Dirty feet
The breeze, already warm, plays with my hair as the sun begins its morning climb.

Crowds murmur
Creating an atmosphere of anticipation
He is coming.
Which one is he?

There - my friend points
I only catch a brief glimpse
Set off after him
Not sure why
I just want to see
Want an explanation for the wild hope that springs up in my heart when I hear about him.

Closer now
The crowd is thinning
Suddenly
He turns
On that dusty road.
I am struck by his simple, coarse-woven clothing
Dirty feet
Plain face
But his eyes make him the most beautiful person I have ever seen.

"What do you want?"
He asks.
Asks me?
I look around, but we are alone
Even my friend is no longer with me.
What do I want?
I open my mouth to reply - 
My thoughts tumble over each other
There is so much I want.
Enough money to pay rent
More work for my husband
More time to get things done
Health and healing for family and friends
Peace for world conflicts
Peace for family conflicts
Peace for the conflicts within myself
What do I want?
I open my mouth to reply - 

But no words come.
Somehow 
All my worries
My fears
My wants
Have faded away.
When I am near this man
Somehow, I see things differently.
I see that my family is cared for
I see healing and hope restored
I see the Kingdom of God coming.
There is only one thing I want - 
To stay near this man.

My dry lips find words - 
Teacher, where are you staying?
He smiles
And I know that he understands.
"Come, and you will see."

On the Lake

I got to go boating with some friends the other day, which is always a great time.  While out on the lake, I was inspired to write a set of two poems. Here is the final result, with a few pictures.

On the Lake

Radiant sunshine
Sun on the mountains
Sun on the trees
Sun on the waves
Sun on my face
Warm
Calming
Comforting

Rushing wind
Blowing through my hair
Blowing through my soul
Blocking out all other noises
Banishing the worries of the day
Clear
Refreshing
Renewing

Rippling waves
Caught in the playful embrace of the breeze 
Catching the light in a myriad of gems
Careless in its abandon
Capturing my gaze in its intricate dance
Alive
Inviting
Inspiring

On the Lake

Motor roars
Propelling us forward
Over the water
Scattering spray
Diamonds and rainbows in our wake
Careless
Fearless
Challenging ourselves to feats of daring
Hands gripping
Muscles straining
In the battle against the elements
Soaring
Conquering
We are the kings of the world

Bits and Pieces of Life

The days seem to go by so quickly... often without a chance to be still and reflect on what God has been doing.  But at the same time, there is so much to be thankful for!  The sunshine outside, a comfortable apartment that is becoming more like home every day, a loving husband, a little one on the way, plenty to eat, friends to spend time with... when I take the time to think about it, my cup is really full to overflowing!

Here is a peek at some of what I've been up to over the past week:

Last Saturday, I decided I wanted to can salsa.  Not the smartest decision perhaps, since what I really needed was a day to rest, but I'm glad that it's done, since there's still more canning that I want to do this fall.

I love buying fresh produce.  It's not quite the same as picking it from a garden, but there is still something that feels wholesome about it.

I made a full batch (with 20lb of tomatoes), which was entertaining, since I don't have a large enough pot or roasting pan to cook it all in.  All that was needed was a bit of creativity!

The end result - 11 jars of salsa, ready for eating!

I think my baby bump looks so cute with an apron on!

It's been great having visitors from Ontario!  Here Jesse is making chocolate donut holes (aka "timbits") with them.  PS. I love the new kitchen!  It's so nice to have more elbow room for working together with others in the kitchen.

Here is our music corner.  Doesn't it just invite you to sit down and pick up an instrument?  Also, I love my new poster from The Piano Guys!

Our most recent acquisition has been a giant bean bag chair.  It is so comfortable, and can seat multiple people.  Looking forward to our first movie night!

Until next time!  God bless.

I Am Called

Well, a new school year has begun, although for me it will be quite different, since this is my last semester, and I'm only a part time student!

I had the privilege of being asked to speak at the First Year Retreat for the new students this semester.  Our school's theme for orientation this year is "I am Called".  I was asked to share about how God called me to Columbia Bible College, some of what I have learned here, and what I feel my calling is for the future.  I thought I'd share my talk here as well!  As I often find with talks, it changed and developed as I was speaking, but here is the script I went up with.

Hey everyone, my name is Leane Winger.  I am in my fourth year of Caregiving and Counselling at Columbia.  My husband Jesse is also at student at CBC.  He graduated with a BA in Outdoor Leadership last April, and he’s back for more classes.  And in case you are wondering, yes I am pregnant.  We are expecting our little one right around December 31.

I love life.  There are many different things that I am passionate about.  I enjoy the arts, including music, theatre, visual arts, and pretty much any other kind of arts that you can think of.  I love learning, whether it is in class, while having a conversation with a friend, or watching TED talks while doing the dishes.  I love creation, getting out in creation, hiking and camping, or caring for the little bit of nature I have in containers on my deck.  And I am also passionate about hospitality.  I love making my home a welcoming place, and my husband and I are always having people over for games, dinners, or movie nights.  If you’d like to be invited, just let me know!

At the center of what I am passionate about is being creative and caring for others.

What led me to Columbia:

I was one of those high school students who had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.  There were lots of things that I enjoyed doing, but I didn’t have a goal or dream for the future.  I was very involved in theatre, particularly directing theatre, during high school, and I thought that maybe that was a path that I could pursue.  I looked into many different theatrical schools, but none of them felt right.  In the end I decided to take a year of Bible school.  My love of British classics like The Chronicles of Narnia and Pride and Prejudice led me to attend Capernwray Hall in England.  My year there was very transformational, but not in the way that I expected.  The primary thing I learned was that I did not know as much as I thought I knew and that I wasn’t as special as I thought I was.  While it was a wonderful year of new experiences and adventures, it was also a year of frustration, loneliness, and long walks through sheep pastures in the rain, yelling at the sky.  During that year, I heard that Capernwray Harbour, just off the coast of Vancouver Island, had a second year leadership program, and I decided to attend there the following year.  That was a year when God started putting back together the pieces of my life.  I rediscovered who I was, and learned things about myself that had been true my whole life, but that I had never noticed – that I have a heart to welcome in the marginalized and rejected, that I am fine being alone and don’t have a need to fit into the popular crowd.  After that year, I worked for 6 months as a nanny in a broken home.  The parents had recently split up, and seeing the pain and heartbreak in that the children were going through was very challenging.  When that position ended, once again I didn’t know what I wanted to do.  I knew myself better, but I still didn’t have a dream.  However, my experience while nannying gave me a desire to be better equipped to help the people I meet who are going through hard times.  So I decided to look into counseling programs.  I also wanted to go to a Bible college so that I could continue learning more about God too.  Through my search for a program that sounded like a good fit, I was led to the Caregiving and Counselling program at CBC.

I have learned a lot, grown a lot, and experienced a lot during my time at CBC.  I wanted to highlight a couple different events that had a significant impact on my life.

The first was within a couple weeks of arriving at CBC.  I was a January student, starting after Christmas.  Something that happens fairly early in the winter semester is that student leader applications become available for those who are interested in joining student leadership for the following year.  I was just chatting with someone in the cafeteria, and they told me that I should apply to be an RL.  That surprised me.  I mean, I barely even knew what an RL was (it is a leader of a unit in dorms), and I was new to the school.  Why would someone choose me to be an Resident Leader in the dorms?  I was sure there would be other much more qualified people.  But as I thought and prayed about it, I decided that it was something that I would actually like to do.  I applied, and was accepted to be an RL for the next year!  Through becoming an RL, I learned very practically the importance of being involved on campus.  Going to events, leading events, meeting new people, pushing out of my comfort zone – through all of this my time at CBC was deepened and enriched, and ever since then I have always tried to stay involved on campus in one way or another.

Another thing that happened during my time at CBC, in March of my first semester, I found out that my mom had a brain tumor.  It was cancer.  She was rushed into emergency surgery, and then went through rounds of chemo and radiation.  My family lives on Vancouver Island near Victoria, and I was here in Abbotsford.  Understandably, that was a very hard time for me.  But what turned out to be a blessing was how my new friends at CBC came around me and supported me and prayed for me.  The community here at CBC was what helped me get through those tough few weeks before the semester ended and I could go home to be with my family.

As I am finishing my degree this semester, what I will take away with me?  Well, a husband.  But seriously, I think the central concept that I will be taking with me from Columbia is the idea of Shalom.  If you haven’t heard about shalom this week yet, you can be sure you will hear about it once or twice during your time at CBC.  God’s all encompassing peace and well being that he desires for all of creation has become a very important concept in my life.  This concept includes so much – being in a right relationship with God, caring for creation, loving other people and promoting peace in a non-violent way, and also being at peace with myself and who I am.

The community at CBC has been very important to me, as I mentioned.  I would describe it as a life-giving place.  But I would encourage you and challenge you that you get out as much as you put in.  Get involved, get out of your comfort zone and meet someone new, and your experience at CBC will be totally transformed.

What am I called to now:

In the time since my husband and I were engaged, we’ve been talking a lot about our plans for the future, our dreams, and what we feel called to.  It has been amazing to see how God has shaped both of us and our passions, and how that fits together into a dream that we share.  A big dream.

One day to own a large piece of land where we can live in community with several other families, farm sustainably and enough to provide for ourselves, and to use that community as a base for ministry.  I have watched many people I care about get burned out in ministry, and I feel called to provide a warm, safe, welcoming space where burned out ministry workers can come with their families, and be refreshed and renewed through quiet, time in creation, and supportive Christian fellowship.  My husband Jesse has a passion for troubled inner city youth, and he wants to use the back of our farm as a base camp for taking them out into nature on backpacking trips.  I feel called to raise a family, care for my home, and do all I can to make it a comfortable, welcoming place for whoever finds their way to our doors, and I am called to continue using all that I love, music, theatre, baking, crafts, gardening, and everything else, to the glory of God and to bless those that he has put in my life.