Garden 2017: Reflections

I finally found time to harvest the last of the carrots, so this year's garden season is officially over. I thought it would be nice to reflect on how it went and some of the successes and failures.

It was an interesting garden this year, because it was our first year in a new place and my first time with a real garden (since I moved out and stopped helping mom with her garden). I got to try out a lot of new things, and had to identify what was already growing in the garden—not always an easy task!

Failures: Learning opportunities:

Probably the biggest disappointment this year was the potatoes. I tried growing potatoes in wire-cage towers lined with newspaper and gradually filled up with dirt as the potato plants grew. Unfortunately, we only ended up with a few tiny potatoes. My guess is that I didn't water the towers well enough and the plants dried up and died too early.

Quite a few of the things I planted didn't do very well, including the lettuce, cucumber, zucchini, and sunflowers. There are a couple reasons, I think. When we first moved in we only had a short hose that couldn't reach the whole garden, which made it a lot harder to water the garden properly, and in my enthusiasm to have a big garden I used an additional garden plot that had clearly not been used for much by the past tenant since it didn't have very good soil and was full of rocks. I tried getting the worst of the rocks out, but it still wasn't that great for growing things.

Successes:

Although many of the things I tried didn't work out, there were still some that did! The peas did very well, and so did the carrots and the kale (which is still growing and being harvested). My strawberries were very happy to be in the ground rather than a pot and they did quite well. One of the plants that came with the garden, the sorrel, also deserves to be mentioned since it did very well too!

Honourable mentions:

I was pleasantly surprised with how well my tomatoes did this year, considering I grew them from seed—something I had never tried before. Although they did very well, unfortunately we didn't get much of a harvest, for two reasons: the kids. Steven absolutely loved the cherry tomatoes and regularly ate all the ripe ones right out of the garden. And as soon as Kenneth became mobile he discovered the joys of picking unripe tomatoes and throwing them around the yard.

My goji seedlings are continuing to do well. Next year I may get a couple berries, but apparently it is the third year when they really start producing. I'm looking forward to that!

So ends my 2017 garden! Now I'm just praying that our landlords will let us renew our lease so I can enjoy gardening here next year too!

Mommy Moments: That Kind of Day

You know it's been that kind of day when the song "the little drummer boy" starts making you cry...

Empty

Water
Flows into 
Cupped hands spilling
Through fingers down on 
Barren, cracked ground
But raised to 
Dry lips
Empty

People

I feel lonely a lot.

I've never been one to have a whole lot of friends, generally preferring to have a few close friends rather than a crowd, but sometimes it feels like I have hardly any friends at all.

It's not for lack of trying. I've made more friends than I can count over my years of Bible School and college, not to mention the friends I had back at home before I moved out. But I've moved, they've moved, sometimes we keep in touch, sometimes we don't. People are so busy. We keep trying to connect, but it never seems to work out. It's easy to just drift apart. I try, but sometimes days and weeks go by without an opportunity to spend time with a friend.

That's a big part of why I like having people live with us. Then at least there are people around, and occasionally we can hang out or have a meaningful conversation. But even living in community, there are still a lot of days when I feel pretty lonely.

My days are long. It's just me and the kids, for hours on end. There are a lot of days when I start feeling pretty desperate for an adult conversation, or some kind of human interaction that doesn't involve toddlers tugging on my legs or the incessant "mommy mommy mommy mommy!" Although being with my kids all day means that I am never alone, I still feel very alone.

The other day, as I was thinking about this, I tried a really interesting exercise. I found it to be helpful, so I thought I would share it with you.

I wrote down a list of people—people that I care about, that I consider to be my friends. The criteria was simple: any person who is a part of my life that I want to be a part of my life, and that I would be willing to make an effort to keep as a part of my life, I included in the list. My list included people of all different ages, living nearby and far away. Friends I haven't seen in a while but would like to connect with again. People who I don't know very well yet but would like to have as friends. Family members too, because those friendships take effort just like the other ones. As people came to mind, I wrote them down.

You know what? That list was a lot longer than I thought it was going to be. And suddenly I didn't feel quite as lonely.

I look at that list, and I see a list of people who really matter to me.

I found this to be helpful, because it switched things around from the way I so often think about friendship. I constantly find myself getting caught up in wondering what others think of me, wondering how many people would put me on their "list of friends" or consider my friendship to be a priority, thinking about how rarely people reach out to me, or how infrequently I get to spend time with a friend. Instead, this reminded me of my own priorities—the people that I care about. It made me excited to reach out to them again and invest in my relationships with them.

So the next time you're feeling lonely, I suggest that you give it a try. Like me, you may be pleasantly surprised by how many friends you really have.

Mommy Moments: Success

I think that I can confidently say that I have succeeded as a parent. I have a child who, when it is windy out, throws their arms in the air and triumphantly calls out, "windy!" while spinning in a circle.

I'm so proud.

Mommy Moments: Advice

Never underestimate the ingenuity of a one-year-old who wants something.

Flying with Toddlers

Toddlers on an airplane. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. But it doesn't have to be! As of our last trip to visit family, I have now flown with:

A 7-month-old
A 17-month-old
A 23-month-old and a 3-month-old
A 2 3/4-year-old and a 13-month-old

And we are still living to tell the tale! So far I have found that flying with an infant isn't too hard, because you basically just cuddle them and nurse them and pray like crazy that take-off and landing won't hurt their ears. Toddlers, on the other hand, take a bit more preparation.

Here are seven tips for traveling with toddlers, that I have learned through our traveling experiences:

1. Bring snacks.

This is no time to mess around with mediocre snacks—the more exciting the better! Goldfish crackers. Animal crackers. Candy. Nutella dip (okay, that got a bit messy). As you may notice, most of my concern for feeding the kids healthy food goes out the window when traveling. But there are healthy snacks that are fun to eat too, like apple chips, raisins, and trail mix. Bring a wide variety, just to be safe. There's nothing like a snack to save the day when things are getting rough.

2. Bring toys.

Bring some old favourites and some new toys. I've heard of people bringing a new toy for each hour of travel, but I haven't been that organized. Try to bring a wide variety of options—toddlers are fickle creatures, and you can't always predict what will be a success and what will not. Puzzles and stickers are some of Steven's favourites at the moment. I have a necklace of teething beads that kept Kenneth happy for quite a while. We've also tried books, colouring, toy cars... basically anything the kids generally seem to enjoy that doesn't involve making a gigantic mess (which unfortunately disqualifies a lot of what they enjoy playing with).

3. Plan activities.

You can have more up your sleeve than just pulling out another snack or another toy. The airplane itself can provide some interesting things to do. For example, our boys love turning on and off the little overhead lights and air vents. Unfortunately, they also enjoy turning on the "help requested" button, which gets a little problematic. Exploring up and down the aisle is fun, and a good way to get out some of that endless toddler energy. Our boys enjoy making friends with the other passengers and the flight attendants, which sometimes results in them being given candy!

For those times when you have to stay in your seats, "reading" the flight safety card stored in each seat pocket can be fun. You can also make a puppet out of the barf bag. Another option is singing songs that have actions. I lost count of how many times we sang "running over" to keep Kenneth happy on the last leg of our most recent journey. And in case all else fails, have some kid-friendly apps downloaded on your phone. Sometimes that's all that will work.

Something I am going to do next time is write down a list of each snack and toy and whatever activities I've thought of. In the moment it is really easy to forget about some of them!

4. Pajamas.

Comfortable, and encourages napping. However—

5. Don't count on them napping.

By all means, try to get them to nap, but have enough snacks/toys/activities to last the entire trip, just in case they don't.

6. Don't pack your bag too full.

If it is overflowing with snacks and toys it becomes really hard to find the one that you are looking for. Trust me, I've tried.

7. Don't take things too seriously.

I think this is the most important thing of all. Traveling can be stressful at the best of times, but take a deep breath and try to have fun. There will be messes. There will be tears and tantrums (though hopefully not too many). But this is also a great chance to spend time with your kids, without the endless distractions of dishes and laundry and the countless other things that need to be done every day. Think of it as "quality time", making some unforgettable memories!

Remember

Remember
The ones that died
Giving the ultimate sacrifice
For what they loved and believed in
Remember

Remember
The ones that lived
Broken and scarred, carrying
Memories none should have to endure
Remember

Remember
The innocents, whose
Only crime was that they existed
In the wrong place at the wrong time
Remember

Remember
Our broken world
Where the real forces of evil
Are not at the other end of our guns
Remember

Remember
Our own hearts
So often driven by greed and fear
Each moment a chance to instead choose peace
Remember

Days Outside Time

Days outside time,
Rambling on like the endless fields and little hills.
Long days stretch indefinitely,
Carefree, like summer days of childhood—
The peaceful beauty of the unremarkable
Slowing my heart to sing the simple melody
Of woods and fields and little rivers,
Of long walks and long naps,
Warm light spilling out into the crisp autumn air,
The smell of supper cooking on the wood stove,
A game of cards around the table,
Laughter and friendly banter,
A second helping of dessert.

Time beckons again with its hurry and noise—
The weight of cares seems both heavier and lighter.
I linger, even as my mind propels me forward;
Carrying them in my heart,
These days outside time.

Fall 2017

I think I like Fall
The best of all...