Journal Entry

I've found that people tend to either love keeping a journal or not be interested in keeping a journal at all.  I fall into the former category.  I started my first journal when I was quite young, and have kept a journal with varying regularity ever since then.  Over time the writing in my journal changed from facts about my day to processing emotions and exploring questions about my faith.  I don't find much time to journal these days, but when I do it's usually because I need to process something, and my journal tends to be filled with angst, frustration, and fluctuating emotions.

I thought that I would share a recent entry with you, because I think it expresses how I've been doing lately.  And it's actually not particularly angsty or emotional...


I feel like lately I've started to feel like I don't know so much.  And it's strange, because I'm actually ok with that.  In fact a lot of what I took pride in before seems to have slipped away.  I used to be so busy - all about being better, doing more, accomplishing things, learning more, being insightful, being creative and talented....  But these days a lot of the time I'm surprisingly ok with not being like that.  It's a lot more about being... being still, being present, being quiet.  Is it a mom thing?  A getting older thing?  I don't know.  But I like it.  To know that I am me, that I am significant - but not even that, because significance doesn't seem so important - just that I am... without being emotionally insightful, without being smart, without being productive, without being creative, without all of that.  This is a season of just being....  I suppose there will be times for tasks and goals and "great deeds"... but right now I am enjoying the humble little valley.


 The Valley

It's peaceful in the valley
But I'm ready to be gone -
To climb the mountains, see the sights,
And prove that I am strong.
To do great things, to gain high praise,
Be seen as wise and free.
It's peaceful in the valley
But I'm restless as can be.

It's peaceful in the valley;
My master bids me stay,
To set aside my busy life,
To wait and watch and pray.
To live in this moment I'm given now
And see how I am blessed.
It's peaceful in the valley,
Can I learn to be at rest?

It's peaceful in the valley,
And gradually I see
Quiet life flowers all around,
Wind whispers soft to me.
The sun is warm, I breathe again,
There is no need to roam.
It's peaceful in the valley
And at last my heart is home.