Labels

Who am I?  If you asked me, there are a variety of answers I could give: I'm a mother, a Canadian, an academic, a Lord of the Rings nerd.  These are all labels I can use to describe myself.  And you have labels that you use to describe yourself.

These labels can come from many different places.  Some come from our relationships.  I'm a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a friend... so much of who I am is defined by those around me.  Relationships are a key part of what gives us our identity.  No wonder loneliness and loss of relationships are so challenging!  At our core, we are fundamentally relational people who are meant to be in relationship with others.

The labels can also come from our life context.  This includes where we were born, where we live, where we work, our economic status, and other things like that.  Everyone has some sort of context that they live in, and that influences who they are.

Others can also give us labels.  Sometimes these labels can be positive or encouraging.  I've been told I am an academic (which, I am told, means that I'm good at school), and that I am a "natural beauty" (which I think just means that I look good even though I don't bother wearing makeup).  But sometimes the labels that others give us aren't so positive or encouraging.  Sometimes they can be hurtful.  Sometimes they can be untrue.  But often we absorb those labels that others give us anyways.

And lastly, we also give ourselves labels.  We identify with certain groups, hobbies, and lifestyles.  We identify certain personality traits in ourselves.  I'm a blogger, a musician, a Lord of the Rings nerd, and an "honourary Whovian" (basically meaning I like Doctor Who, even though I personally haven't watched many episodes because they're a bit too intense for me!).  I'm sensitive, and an INFJ (a Myers-Briggs personality label I wear with pride.  Read up on INFJs.  We're awesome.).  Our self-labels can be a bit of a mixed bag though.  Sometimes we are wrong about the labels that we give ourselves (ever been around someone who thinks they're good at something when they actually aren't?) or the labels can be negative and unhelpful (like "I'm fat" or "I'm boring").

You see, labels are very powerful.  They shape how others view us and how we view ourselves.  They influence our thoughts, actions, choices, and our future.  As an example, I thought I'd share about how a label has affected me lately.  One day when I was browsing Pinterest, I saw a poster that said something along the lines of "It doesn't matter what you write, if you write you are a writer".  For some reason that really impacted me, and I thought, "Wow, I'm a real writer!"  (I know, somehow writing twice a week on a blog, not to mention a couple stories that I'm working on, hadn't given me reason to think of myself as a writer? Yeah, I can't really figure it out either.)  Since then, I have been aware of how the label "writer" has been added to my self-concept.  There have been evenings when I would usually waste my time online and I have thought, "No.  I'm going to write instead.  Because I'm a WRITER!"

Using labels as a way of understanding ourselves and the world around us is so automatic that I don't think it's something we can really change, but I do want to offer a couple of cautions.

First, you are not your labels.  You can know that I'm a mother, that I'm an INFJ, that I'm a writer, but still you wouldn't really know me.  Even with all of my labels that I have been talking about, still that does not encompass all of who I am.  I haven't touched on my love of theatre or my intermittent movie-making hobby, my passion for hospitality or how I think I'm pretty funny sometimes.  We are incredibly complex people, each and every one of us.  And we are always changing!  We will never run out of things to learn about ourselves and the people around us.

And second, be very careful with what labels you use.  Labels are powerful things, for good or harm.  One hurtful label carelessly given can burden a person for a very long time.  And this isn't just about labeling others.  The labels that we choose to give ourselves, that we choose to live by, can strongly influence where we go and who we become.  By all means, be realistic in your labels.  But also be positive.  Because I think you're pretty awesome, and God thinks so too!