Mommy Moments: The Song That Never Ends

My two year old has been learning the alphabet. Unfortunately, he is currently under the impression that Y is followed by R. He has been singing in a loop for about ten minutes now...

The Girl From Moab: Let There Be Hope

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to perform a new song from my musical!

The event was the book launch for April Yamasaki's new book, Four Gifts. It was really fun to be able to share a small taste of what I've been working on!

If you are interested in keeping up with my updates on The Girl From Moab, you can follow my YouTube channel or my Facebook page, and I will still post updates here on my blog sometimes too!

Children of the Wind and Sky

Children of the wind and sky,
Dancing across the fields,
Hair blowing in the breeze,
Swept back from shining eyes
And dazzling smiles.

Children of the water and waves,
Laughter bubbling, brimming over,
Flinging recklessly into my arms,
Giggling, wriggling, fleeing,
Returning with arms open wide.

Children of the sea and sky,
Wild, chaotic beauty
Uncontainable within my arms;
Infectious delight of life itself
Frees my heart to soar with theirs.

A Tiring Reality

Sometimes life gets harder.

About a month ago, I suddenly got quite sick—headache, chills, fever, shakiness, etc. Most of the symptoms passed after a couple days, except for the tiredness. And I was very tired—at first I could hardly be up for an hour before I had to lie down again. I've been slowly improving, but even now I have to lie down a couple times each day, and I don't really have the energy to take the kids to the park or go shopping.

As you can imagine, this has made life a lot more challenging. Running around after two very active, independent little ones is not exactly compatible with resting and recovering. Even the ordinary tasks of caring for a household can tire me out and leave me without the energy to play music or write or do other things that I enjoy.

It's hard, and frustrating, and discouraging.

The doctor thinks it was just the flu, aggravated by the heat, dehydration, and all the smoke that was in the air at the time. I'm taking some supplements, and trying to eat more and drink more water. I am improving. But it is so easy to do too much and have another setback.

And part of my frustration is that "there is nothing wrong with me" and "I don't look sick". From an outside perspective, nothing seems any different. But the kids are fussier, because they don't understand why mommy can't run around and play like she usually can. It's been way too long since I've been able to take the kids to the park, and we are all going a little crazy because of it. Every time I try to do something that takes extra energy—going to church, getting groceries, even having a games night with some friends—I feel significantly worse afterward. I've been out of the house so little that I'm starting to get cabin fever!

And I'm really lonely.

Hopefully this will be the last you hear of this, and I'll be feeling better soon, but I wanted to give you a little picture of what life has been like for me lately. I'm so thankful that Jesse and the rest of the household have been so willing to help out more around the house so I can lie down when I need to!

Despite the rough past month, it has been a pretty good summer. Here are a few pictures of what we have been up to:

Garden love

Keeping cool

Picnic time!

Family hiking

Fire Creek

All rocks must be climbed!

Coastline near Bella Coola

Humble beauty

My munchkins

'Tis the last rose of summer...

Four Gifts: A Review of April Yamasaki's Book on Self-Care

Something that saddens me is how little I read these days. Being a mom of two toddlers means that "free time" is a fairly foreign concept, and when I do have a few minutes to myself, those tend to be filled up with other things. At the moment I am getting ready to write and direct a play for my church, as well as continuing to work on my musical, blog, and other writing projects. I am still leading worship at least once a month at church, and I am running a Middle Earth RPG for a few friends once a week. I am trying to stay on top of the endless mountain of pears that the tree in our backyard is producing, and I am in the middle of canning season. And on top of all of this, I have been struggling with some sort of health problem that has been making me feel very tired—I can only work for a few hours at a time before I have to lie down! You might say that I could use a book on self-care right about now!

I have pretty much given up on reading novels during this stage of my life. When I'm reading a story, I tend to get really lost in it, and then I get grumpy when I'm interrupted or have to put it down... and with my life, that tends to happen every few minutes! But non-fiction books don't have the same effect on me, and when I read reflective, thoughtful books, sometimes I even find the interruptions help me to take a break and think about what I've read—so when I had a chance to read April Yamasaki's new book on self-care, I was pretty excited!

I've had the privilege of being a part of the launch team for April's book, Four Gifts, which has included being able to read an advance copy of the book, and I highly recommend it! April's writing is relatable and insightful. As I was reading it, I found myself continually caught between wanting to stop and reflect on what I had just read, and wanting to keep reading to find out what April had to say next! I am looking forward to having a solid copy of the book in my hands so I can sit down and read it again.


Four Gifts: Seeking Self-Care for Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength by April Yamasaki


Since the book is called "Four Gifts", I thought that I would share four thoughts on it!

1. It is firmly grounded in a biblical perspective.

I have read several books on self-care over the past years, and this is really what makes April's book stand out for me! Not only are many of the principles and examples drawn directly from scripture, but April makes it clear that ultimately it is God who cares for us. As one of my favourite quotes from the book says:

"When all my self-care strategies fail, when I fail myself and others, when those closest to me have done their best yet still leave me wanting for more, God remains forever faithful."


2. April is not afraid to ask difficult questions.

For example, Jesus clearly taught his disciples that they needed to lay down their lives, deny themselves, and take up their cross (Mark 8:34-35). In Four Gifts, April comments:

"To live this abundant, self-giving life of following Jesus, self-care must also make room somehow for self-surrender. Can it be that we are called to both self-care and self-denial? Is that a healthy tension, a living paradox—or is it simply impossible?"

What I really appreciate is that April does not try to offer us a tidy solution or have all the answers. Instead, she invites us into the questions and the paradoxes, and helps us explore them for ourselves.

3. Four Gifts is very realistic about self-care.

While it's easy to think about self-care as curling up with a cup of tea or treating yourself to a massage, a lot of the time self-care is not fun and does not feel good. Self-care can mean being disciplined, even when we don't want to be. Self-care can mean learning when to say no and to set healthy boundaries, even if it is hard. Self-care can be learning to lament as we face areas of hurt and brokenness in our lives.


4. It is incredibly practical.

Four Gifts is interspersed with really great questions for thought and discussion, and each chapter concludes with simple and practical ideas for implementing the principles addressed in that chapter. This is one of the reasons that I want to read the book again—I really want to take the time to reflect thoughtfully on the questions, and to find ways of implementing some of the practical self-care suggestions! For example, have you ever heard of making an "I-don't-do" list? Basically, it's a list of things that help you maintain healthy boundaries in your life—anything from not drinking coffee after a certain time in the day, to not checking Facebook first thing in the morning, to not trying to please everybody. I think that making an "I-don't-do" list sounds like a very helpful exercise!


To conclude my review, here is a short question and answer with April Yamasaki:

Why do we need self-care?
Because too many of us are over-tired, over-extended, and overwhelmed by our lives—the constant barrage of information, the multiple demands of personal, family, work, community, and world needs, the relentless advance of technology. Self-care allows us to rest instead of constantly running the treadmill of our lives. At its best, it can help restore a sense of wholeness in a world that seems increasingly fragmented and polarized.

What do you mean by self-care “at its best”?
Well, at its worst, I think self-care can become selfish and self-indulgent as some critics point out. That can happen when I focus on my own needs to the exclusion of others. But at its best, self-care means that I care for myself without ignoring or isolating myself from the needs of others. Genuine self-care includes a mutual caring in community. It includes a sense of my own limits where instead of the self-sufficiency of self-care, I can depend on the all-sufficiency of God’s care.

What do you hope for your readers? 

I hope readers will come away with a bigger vision for self-care that also embraces caring for others and surrendering to God’s care and call in their lives. I hope they’ll think deeply about their core commitments and priorities for themselves, and discuss these with their family, friends, and others. I hope that my words would come to life in their own thinking and experience, that readers would expand upon the book for their own personal situation and context.

Four Gifts: Seeking Self-Care for Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength will be available starting September 4, 2018. You can find out more about Four Gifts and April Yamasaki's writing on her website: aprilyamasaki.com