Labels

Who am I?  If you asked me, there are a variety of answers I could give: I'm a mother, a Canadian, an academic, a Lord of the Rings nerd.  These are all labels I can use to describe myself.  And you have labels that you use to describe yourself.

These labels can come from many different places.  Some come from our relationships.  I'm a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a friend... so much of who I am is defined by those around me.  Relationships are a key part of what gives us our identity.  No wonder loneliness and loss of relationships are so challenging!  At our core, we are fundamentally relational people who are meant to be in relationship with others.

The labels can also come from our life context.  This includes where we were born, where we live, where we work, our economic status, and other things like that.  Everyone has some sort of context that they live in, and that influences who they are.

Others can also give us labels.  Sometimes these labels can be positive or encouraging.  I've been told I am an academic (which, I am told, means that I'm good at school), and that I am a "natural beauty" (which I think just means that I look good even though I don't bother wearing makeup).  But sometimes the labels that others give us aren't so positive or encouraging.  Sometimes they can be hurtful.  Sometimes they can be untrue.  But often we absorb those labels that others give us anyways.

And lastly, we also give ourselves labels.  We identify with certain groups, hobbies, and lifestyles.  We identify certain personality traits in ourselves.  I'm a blogger, a musician, a Lord of the Rings nerd, and an "honourary Whovian" (basically meaning I like Doctor Who, even though I personally haven't watched many episodes because they're a bit too intense for me!).  I'm sensitive, and an INFJ (a Myers-Briggs personality label I wear with pride.  Read up on INFJs.  We're awesome.).  Our self-labels can be a bit of a mixed bag though.  Sometimes we are wrong about the labels that we give ourselves (ever been around someone who thinks they're good at something when they actually aren't?) or the labels can be negative and unhelpful (like "I'm fat" or "I'm boring").

You see, labels are very powerful.  They shape how others view us and how we view ourselves.  They influence our thoughts, actions, choices, and our future.  As an example, I thought I'd share about how a label has affected me lately.  One day when I was browsing Pinterest, I saw a poster that said something along the lines of "It doesn't matter what you write, if you write you are a writer".  For some reason that really impacted me, and I thought, "Wow, I'm a real writer!"  (I know, somehow writing twice a week on a blog, not to mention a couple stories that I'm working on, hadn't given me reason to think of myself as a writer? Yeah, I can't really figure it out either.)  Since then, I have been aware of how the label "writer" has been added to my self-concept.  There have been evenings when I would usually waste my time online and I have thought, "No.  I'm going to write instead.  Because I'm a WRITER!"

Using labels as a way of understanding ourselves and the world around us is so automatic that I don't think it's something we can really change, but I do want to offer a couple of cautions.

First, you are not your labels.  You can know that I'm a mother, that I'm an INFJ, that I'm a writer, but still you wouldn't really know me.  Even with all of my labels that I have been talking about, still that does not encompass all of who I am.  I haven't touched on my love of theatre or my intermittent movie-making hobby, my passion for hospitality or how I think I'm pretty funny sometimes.  We are incredibly complex people, each and every one of us.  And we are always changing!  We will never run out of things to learn about ourselves and the people around us.

And second, be very careful with what labels you use.  Labels are powerful things, for good or harm.  One hurtful label carelessly given can burden a person for a very long time.  And this isn't just about labeling others.  The labels that we choose to give ourselves, that we choose to live by, can strongly influence where we go and who we become.  By all means, be realistic in your labels.  But also be positive.  Because I think you're pretty awesome, and God thinks so too!

A New Year

Welcome to 2016!

A new year has begun, and it is now the season when we reminisce about the past year, create unrealistic goals for the future year, and write the wrong date on cheques and other important documents.

But really, I like that the year has an ebb and flow to it, and that we are given times where it is natural to reflect on what has happened and think about what is to come.

I've never really been one for "new year's resolutions".  Maybe because it's something you're supposed to do, and being told to do something is a surefire way to make me not do it.  But still, this is a very natural time of the year to consider what changes I want to make in my life.  And not just because we are putting up new calendars.  The earth itself pauses at this time of year, as nights are long and living things are waiting for spring.  Also, when I was in college this is the time when I would start thinking about the upcoming semester and what I wanted to improve on from the previous semester.  Although I'm not in college anymore, I find that I still follow the college year in my mind, especially since most of our friends are either still in college or have recently graduated like us.

All that said, there have been a few things on my mind that I want to do more of in the coming year.  So I thought I would share my list with you!

5. Improve in Biblical Hebrew
A year and a half ago I took a biblical Hebrew course, but I have forgotten so much of what I learned.  I really want to re-learn what I've forgotten and put the work in to be able to actually start reading the Old Testament in its original language.  Jesse has been learning ancient Greek so I think it would be so great for each of us to know a biblical language.

4. Be more active
I always feel so much better when I have exercise/physical activity in my life, but so often it's the first thing to be cut when I am tired or stressed (which I am a lot these days).  I tried out a mom and baby aquafit class last fall which was really fun, so I'm hoping to do that again, and also...

3. Get outside more.
Seriously. Getting outside is like medicine for my soul.  But so often I get wrapped up in the things that I need to get done around the house and I don't get outside... sometimes for days on end!  But for my own sanity I need to get outside more.

2. Play more music.
I love playing music, but once again it can get lost in the clutter of the "to do" list.  I want to learn new pieces on the piano.  I want to sing and play worship music on the guitar.  I want to improve on my fiddle and Celtic whistles.  I want to learn cello.  Sometimes I want to play so much music that I can't decide and so don't play any at all.  Which is kind of ridiculous when I think about it.  So I want to change that mindset that keeps me from playing.

1. Write more.
I love writing.  I recently really accepted being a writer as a part of my identity (there's a future post coming on that topic) and I am excited to give more of my time to writing.  Whether it's through poetry, story, or blog, I love sharing what is in my heart with others.  Lately I have been engaging in the "Battle of the Evenings" regarding how I spend my time once the baby is in bed.  It's so easy to zone out with some online thing, but instead I am trying to use that time for writing.

Well that's it.  Did I actually just admit to having new year's resolutions?  Maybe....  But I am excited to see what this new year brings, and to do the best I can to live a full and meaningful life!

Thoughts

My brain is full
Full of thoughts
Swirling around and around
Tumbling over each other
In either excitement or confusion
Sometimes I'm not sure
But all of these thoughts
Are certainly very important
Attempt to corral them
Into conventional words
When I need them
They elude my grasp
Without a care
Away
They
Fly

Merry Christmas 2015

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!  May you have a blessed 2016.

Dairy-Free Fudge

Shhhh.... I'm going to tell you a secret!  Promise not to give it away?  I'm giving Jesse fudge for Christmas!  He loves fudge, but it is pretty expensive, and anyway he shouldn't eat it because of the dairy in it.  So I am making dairy-free fudge!

To be honest, if you're reading this after Christmas morning, it's not a secret anymore.  But it's fun to think that we are sharing a secret anyways!

This fudge is so yummy, and it's actually a really easy recipe, so I thought I'd share it with you.

Dairy-Free Fudge

Sift 4 cups icing sugar and 1/2 cup cocoa powder into a bowl.  Add 1 cup chocolate chips, and set aside.  (If you want the recipe to be strictly dairy-free, be sure to use dairy-free chocolate chips.)

In a medium pot, measure 1/2 cup almond milk and 2 tablespoons margarine.

Heat on a medium-high heat, stirring constantly, until it starts boiling.  Remove from the heat and add the sugar/cocoa mixture.

Mix, and add 1 teaspoon of flavouring (vanilla extract, mint extract, hazelnut extract, etc.).  I used mint extract.  Hooray for chocolate-mint yumminess!

Mix until thoroughly combined.  I found that it got pretty stiff by the time I was done.

Spread in an 8x8 pan.  I used a silicone pan, and it worked really well!  If you use a regular pan, you would want to grease it or line it with parchment paper.  I found that the easiest way to spread it out was with the back of a spoon.

Cool in the fridge for several hours.

I turned it out onto a cutting board to cut it into squares.

And I decorated them with crushed candy canes.

In a tin, ready to give to Jesse!  The fudge needs to be stored in the fridge or freezer, since it gets pretty soft if you leave it at room temperature for too long.  You can check out the original recipe at this link.

Pretty Christmas fudge!

What are some of your favourite kinds of Christmas baking?

A Poem Remembering Those for Whom Christmas is not Easy

For some people
Christmas is not easy.

Like the young family
Friends gone for the holidays
Or too busy with their own families
To remember they are alone.

Like the old man
Last living of his peers
Sitting alone in his room
With his memories.

Like the shattered family
Heartbroken and hurting
No longer gathering
In the same place.

Like the person who said goodbye
To someone they love deeply
And the empty place at the table
Somehow seems emptier.

Like the young woman
Poor and far from home
Pregnant and uncomfortable
With nowhere to stay for the night.

For some people
Christmas is not easy.

Sushi

When we were visiting our friends last week, I got to try making sushi.  It was something I hadn't done before, so I enjoyed learning a bit about the process.  Here are some pictures!

Ready to start!

Spreading the rice

Adding the filling

David showing me how it's done

Rolling it up

Then you cut it

Aren't they pretty!

Ready to eat!