I Don't Make Money Doing What I Love

Do what you love.  This is the mantra of our day and age, and it is particularly loved by my generation.  It's almost like it's our sacred duty to that which we love.  And why not?  Who wouldn't want to do what brings them joy and fulfillment?

But the mantra doesn't stop there.  We aren't just to do what we love, we are to make money doing it.  It is to be our career, our vocation, our way of making a livelihood.  And again, there isn't anything inherently wrong with that.  I know many people who are able to make money doing what they love, and I am so happy for them!

I get to do a lot of things that I love.  Today I'm particularly thinking about writing on this blog, making videos for my YouTube channel, and making arts and crafts.  These are all things that could make me money.  But I don't make money.  On purpose.  I've thought about it, that's for sure.  As a stay-at-home mom, my husband is the one who primarily works, but the subconscious pressure I put on myself to find a way to contribute is very real.

But whenever I consider using what I love as a way of making money, I find a hesitation in my heart that forbids me.

For example, think about this blog and my YouTube channel.  Those are both ways that people can make money.  It's certainly not easy money, and I'm still too small to make much, but I could make some, if I wanted to.  But how I would make that money is through allowing advertising on my blog posts and before my videos.

But I don't like advertising.  It's not just that it's annoying (which it is), but I would have no control over the content of the advertising, and I have serious problems with the vast majority of advertising that happens in our world.  Most advertising promotes discontent, consumerism, materialism, hedonism, unsustainable use of the earth's resources, and the objectification of both women and men.  How can I allow that on my work?  When people visit my blog or my channel I want them to hear from my heart, not be bombarded once again by the parts of our culture that try to drag us down.  I could be earning money, but money isn't the most important thing.

I also enjoy arts and crafts.  I've often had people say that I should sell the things that I make, and I've often thought about it.  But for some reason I don't really want to.  That doesn't mean I would be opposed to someone asking me to make them something and wanting to pay me for it.  But I don't want to make things with the sole purpose of earning money, to try to convince people that they need more handmade scarves and Christmas ornaments and baby toys.  I want to make things that are needed, not try to create a need for things that I make.

I don't say any of this to belittle those who do use advertising or those who make things to sell.  But I do want to encourage you to stop and think with me.  Our culture tries to tell us that money is everything, that we always need more.  But instead of grabbing at every chance to make a few more dollars, let's evaluate what is really most important to us.  What are we promoting?  What are our actions saying about what we value?

I don't make money doing what I love. 

Maybe someday I will, but right now that isn't what is most important.

Journal Entry

I've found that people tend to either love keeping a journal or not be interested in keeping a journal at all.  I fall into the former category.  I started my first journal when I was quite young, and have kept a journal with varying regularity ever since then.  Over time the writing in my journal changed from facts about my day to processing emotions and exploring questions about my faith.  I don't find much time to journal these days, but when I do it's usually because I need to process something, and my journal tends to be filled with angst, frustration, and fluctuating emotions.

I thought that I would share a recent entry with you, because I think it expresses how I've been doing lately.  And it's actually not particularly angsty or emotional...


I feel like lately I've started to feel like I don't know so much.  And it's strange, because I'm actually ok with that.  In fact a lot of what I took pride in before seems to have slipped away.  I used to be so busy - all about being better, doing more, accomplishing things, learning more, being insightful, being creative and talented....  But these days a lot of the time I'm surprisingly ok with not being like that.  It's a lot more about being... being still, being present, being quiet.  Is it a mom thing?  A getting older thing?  I don't know.  But I like it.  To know that I am me, that I am significant - but not even that, because significance doesn't seem so important - just that I am... without being emotionally insightful, without being smart, without being productive, without being creative, without all of that.  This is a season of just being....  I suppose there will be times for tasks and goals and "great deeds"... but right now I am enjoying the humble little valley.


 The Valley

It's peaceful in the valley
But I'm ready to be gone -
To climb the mountains, see the sights,
And prove that I am strong.
To do great things, to gain high praise,
Be seen as wise and free.
It's peaceful in the valley
But I'm restless as can be.

It's peaceful in the valley;
My master bids me stay,
To set aside my busy life,
To wait and watch and pray.
To live in this moment I'm given now
And see how I am blessed.
It's peaceful in the valley,
Can I learn to be at rest?

It's peaceful in the valley,
And gradually I see
Quiet life flowers all around,
Wind whispers soft to me.
The sun is warm, I breathe again,
There is no need to roam.
It's peaceful in the valley
And at last my heart is home.
 

14 Months

Well, time flies... and I haven't been very good at keeping up with my blog (or my youtube channel, or twitter) over past week or so.  Things have been going pretty well around here.  I think my "morning sickness" is slowly starting to improve (yay!).  I'm still tired a lot, but Steven has been sleeping and napping well, so that gives me the opportunity to rest.  Steven has been growing and learning like crazy!  He climbs whatever he can, splashes in puddles, dances and "sings" along to music, loves going outside, and can name several kinds of food including apples, cheese, and crackers (all of which are favourites).  His love of life is infectious and brightens our home so much!

Rock climbing!

So much to explore outside

Snack time!

Out for ice cream with Mommy!

Splashing in puddles

Enjoying time with Grandma Winger

Our precious boy

Lessons from a Baby: Wonder

One of the joys of having a year old child toddling through your life is that you get to watch them experiencing the world through new eyes.  Steven is fascinated by everything that he sees.  Our walks and other outdoor adventures are often accompanied by a pointing finger and a mouth opened wide to say "ooohhhh!".  It doesn't matter if it's the geese at the park, a person walking by, or rainwater pouring into a storm drain on the road, everything about the world is new and exciting.

He has also learned how to say "wow!".  He says it often, whether he is flipping through the pages of a picture book or playing with one of his toys.

For Steven, the world is amazing.  Dripping water keeps making noise.  Gravity keeps working no matter how many times you drop something.  From the moment he wakes until he falls asleep, he doesn't stop on his journey of discovery.  Every rock must be climbed, every pebble must be tasted.

How different it is for those of us who have made more trips around the sun.  Things that were once incredible become ordinary.  We get busy and rush through life without noticing the things and people that we are passing.

No wonder Jesus said that the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these (the little children).  If we become so bored and jaded in our few short years on this beautiful earth, broken as it may be, how can we expect to fully enjoy the wonder and majesty of the Kingdom when all is restored?

Steven challenges me to slow down and open up my senses once again to the wonder of the world around me.  I challenge you, as I challenge myself, the next time you see a plant growing through a crack in the pavement, the next time you have a chance to splash in a puddle, the next time you are surrounded by your family, let's pause for a moment and say "wow!".

A Little Bit of Normality

This evening I felt like making Blueberry Coffee Cake.  So I made blueberry coffee cake.  And I didn't push myself too hard.  I didn't feel sick afterward.  It felt so amazing...

To Do or Not To Do

That is the question.  Or at least it is often the question that I have to ask at this point in my life - with an energetic one year old, and being well into the first trimester of another pregnancy.  Tiredness is a daily reality, and often all that I can manage to do is the bare minimum to get us through the day.  Routine quickly becomes a very good friend, especially our daily nap time.  So when the opportunity arises to do something that you would love to do, but that would affect that routine that gets you through the day, the result is something of a quandary.

That happened today.

Jesse unexpectedly had the day off work, so we decided to go for a short hike with some friends.  It was wonderful to get outside, enjoying the warm sunshine and the beauty of God's creation.  I hardly ever get out much farther than the local park with Steven, so I enjoyed it a lot.  However, we were gone right over nap time.  Steven got more and more tired until he eventually fell asleep in his carrier for a short 15 minute catnap.  When we got home I tried putting him down for a nap even though it was well past his nap time, but of course he wouldn't sleep and got grumpier and clumsier as the rest of the day progressed.  I always have a nap when Steven naps, so I missed my nap time too, as well as getting more exercise than I have been used to lately.  As soon as we got home I felt absolutely exhausted.  But other than a few brief moments on the couch I couldn't really rest - supper had to be made and the overtired toddler didn't want to amuse himself.  We made it through till Steven's bedtime, and now I have curled up on the big red beanbag chair to write this, and I'm asking myself - was it worth it?

Right now it doesn't feel very worth it.  I'm exhausted.  The last few hours of my day were miserable. 

But at the same time, it was so good to go on that hike, to spend time with people, to watch Steven stare in wonder at the waterfall, to watch Jesse teaching him to throw rocks into the river, to get out of the house and out of the city. 

Is it worth it?

I think I'll be asking that question a lot over the next few years.  Sometimes I'll feel like it's worth it.  Sometimes I won't.  I suppose there's a balance, just like most things in life.  There has to be routine that gets you through the day, but there's also a time to forget the routine and get outside and experience more of life.  It helps keep me sane and gives Steven so many opportunities to learn and grow.

Today I am tired.  But I am thankful.

Game Review: Dungeons and Dragons

This game review was long overdue, so I figured now was a good time.  Every now and then I like to tell you about a game that I have been playing lately, and I certainly have been playing D&D quite a lot.

To start off, just a disclaimer that I realize D&D is a huge game, with multiple editions and endless possibilities, so I'm not trying to be comprehensive in any way.  I'm just going to tell you a bit about my experience with the game (5th edition) and what I think of it. 

D&D is a role playing game, with each of the players creating a character that will be going on an adventure together.  There are many different options for different races (like human, elf, or dwarf), class (like ranger, fighter, or wizard), and background (like hermit, criminal, or entertainer).

In order to play, someone needs to be the storyteller (generally called a dungeon master or game master) who decides what happens, narrates the story, runs the monsters and "non-player-characters" that the characters meet on their journey, and encourages the players to interact with each other.  There is generally a map, and each of the characters have a figurine that they can use to show where they are on the map as they talk with each other and describe what their characters are doing.  Generally if you want to attempt doing something, you will roll one or more dice, and your success depends on how good the roll is combined with your character's ability in that area.

I think that someone's experience of D&D will depend a lot on the people that they play with.  The storyteller does a lot to set the tone of the game, and the players can have a varying degree of seriousness or lightheartedness about the game.  In most of the games I have played there have been lots of jokes and laughter.  We get into the story, but have a lot of fun while we're playing.

Playing D&D does take quite an investment if there isn't a game already happening that you can just join.  The materials and supplies aren't cheap, and it can take quite a bit of time to create characters and prepare the story (even if you are following a prewritten story).  But it can be well worth the investment, especially if you have a good group of people to play with!

For more of my thoughts on D&D, check out my video: 5 Reasons Why I Enjoy D&D

Check out some of my other game reviews here!